Selena Gomez Has Such A Baby Face She Makes Getaway Look Like A Parody

I think I may have lost my grip on pop culture, because when I was watching the new trailer for Getaway just now, I was all but convinced it was a parody movie. And it wasn’t Ethan Hawke‘s growly Batman voice that did it or the old and tired convention of kidnapping someone that the main character loves to watch him leap into action! Completing tasks he hasn’t attempted in years! Everything flooding back as he screeches the car around corners and navigates darkened city streets like a crash test dummy. And to think! All there was to suggest that he’d ever lived this life was a mysterious hand tattoo that I spotted as he palmed the wheel!

Anyway. Sorry. Where was I? I got distracted by the amalgam of pre-existing movie plots that were combined to create this movie plot. What I really meant to be talking about was Selena Gomez and her baby baby face. Because that is the true indicator that this movie is by no means intended to be taken seriously. I’m not kidding, you guys. When she first appeared onscreen and said that pivotal first line, “This car belongs to me,” I literally laughed out loud. Actually, it was more of a huffff of air, like, “You cannot seriously expect me to believe that that baby-faced cherub is old enough to have a driver’s license.”

And then I heard that in a previous trailer they make it clear that Selena’s character is actually a carjacker. GUYS A CARJACKER. Literally named The Kid. I get that Selena is trying to get her image nice and gritty as she transitions out of childhood, and that’s why she did this project and why she did Spring Breakers, but maybe she should wear a mask or something? At least for a little while, until she grows out of ‘dem cheeks. Otherwise she’ll be causing scoffs during this movie left and right.

Getaway is being released on August 30th, 2013.

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    • Jenni

      I don’t understand. There had to be someone else who could be taken more seriously in this role.

      • Olivia Wilson

        Anyone would have been a better fit for this role than Selena. Literally any other person. Betty White, Prince George, anyone.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I’m ready for Prince George to expand into acting roles. He’s already proven he has the chops.

      • taketwo

        Very fucking funny douchebag!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Easy.

      • Katie

        They should have used the girl who played Bullet on “The Killing”. She’s everything.

    • ChiChi

      Why can’t Selena just stay in same-plot Disney movies? Why does she have to ruin our movie experience?

      • haters= losers

        y cant u get a life and stop hating on her

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I think this movie might’ve been ruined before Selena even got to it.

      • ChiChi

        You are so true! Silly me. And darling haters= losers, I’m not hating on her, I’m simply trying to put her back where she can *cough cough* excell. And if you are trying to imply that I am a loser, I will tell you otherwise. I am one of the coolest people you ever meet. Or diss on crushable.com.

        Loving your review, Ms. Rhiannon!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        And another thank you!

    • Stacey Judith

      Not sure about this movie, let alone her role.. But she suits comedy.. I actually found her genuinely funny when I used to watch Wizards of Waverly place..

    • Stacey Judith

      Not sure about this movie, let alone her role.. But she suits comedy.. I actually found her genuinely funny when I used to watch Wizards of Waverly place..

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know, I want her to embrace that! It feels like when Zac Efron turned down roles like Footloose that he was totally perfect for.

    • haters goin to hate

      its not her fault she has a baby face so back off

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Whose fault is it?

    • haters r bitches

      yo if this movie is good im goin to laugh at every hater thats hating on selena bitches mad cuz she has an amazing life n theres is boring funny do ur thing selena

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I think there may be a small margin of difference between me hating her and me pointing out she has a baby face,but that’s just me.

      • Katie

        no. there’s no difference.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Curses! Foiled again!

    • Spoiler Alert

      She is not the carjacker, Ethan his. And it IS her car but noone said she drives it illegally. In the movie she has to look young because she is a 14 year old technology savvy prodigy who can hack and do all the stuff those maniacs do. But she is kind of illegal, not clean and cut and so she does have a car (illegally) and when he tries to steal it she sees him and points a fake gun at him and says get out of the car (hence why people thought she was stealing it) and then Ethan says you chose the wrong car to steal because he also can’t believe it is her car so he thinks she wants to steal it but its all been arranged by the voice because he needs THE KIDS intellect for the task. I feel like a troll spoiler person, you would think the people who write these articles would actually do their research before spewing nonsense. smh

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        If you take another look at my post, I think it’s pretty clear that all I’m talking about is the trailer and my own personal response to it. She looks so young in it that it made me laugh and think it was a parody. End of story.

      • Spoiler Alert

        Hence the name THE KID. She is SUPPOSED to look 14! Comprehension seems to not be your forte.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        What do you mean by that?

      • taketwo

        I can’t believe you’re asking Spoiler Alert what she or he meant by that. The bottom line is she is suppose to look like a young kid. You wrote this article and explained a few things about the character she plays. We all knew from the previews we saw basically what the movie was about and that she plays a young female trying to get her car back. Her face was shown to us on the previews and yeah she pretty young. But to mock her for having a baby face was really uncalled for. Do you like people criticizing your articles or making fun of them? I’ve seen the movie and I thought it was fairly good movie. Once she starts acting out her role you really don’t too much attention to her baby face. Give her the respect she deserves unless you’re the type of person that enjoys putting people down. Parody my ass!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        You may want to re-read this exchange with a more sarcastic eye. I can lend you one.

    • Tranny Queen

      Omg pero lyke, her baby face is HEYLA kyoot. I hope after my transition process I look like mi reina selena, I want that baby face. The baby face is perfect for the role- my opinion

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Fair enough!

    • Pingback: Getaway Movie Review: Would've Been Better Without Selena Gomez()

    • Andiamo P

      She always looks young. She literally looks like she’s in high school.

    • Guest

      I don’t understand what the big deal is. Ms. Rhiannon is just stating her opinion, and everyone knows that Selena Gomez has a baby face. It’s not as if she called her ugly.

    • Anonymous

      Selena Gomez does have a baby face. I don’t know why everyone’s denying the obvious.

    • blue14

      There is nothing she can do about her face, She has a baby face and looks younger than her years but so what! At the end of the day she is 21 and a woman, when she is older the same people moaning that she looks too young now will be praising her saying she looks great for her age.
      It is better to look younger than your age than older. Get over it!

    • blue14

      It’s called good genes! So don’t hate!

    • Dave

      Alexis hates Chelsea Handler because she looks old and now Selena Gomez because she looks young. What’s wrong with you, woman?