The second part of the last season ever of Breaking Bad is leaving nothing to be desired. Just when I think that they are going into big reveals too soon (no no! too soon you Breaking Bad team, you’ll give it all away!), they prove why they are the professional TV writers with phenomenal ratings and I am just the viewer. Now take a seat, you viewer, and come along with us while we take you on this ride. You think you can figure out the end? You can’t figure out the end…we’re gonna throw monkey wrenches and Easter eggs and random yellow toy cars at yah and it’s gonna drive you batty (no, seriously guys, what is up with that yellow toy car?…I feel like it means something ooooor it’s just a
yellow red herring ooooor I’m trying too hard). Last night’s episode gave the viewers what we love best. Some amazing hashtag-worthy lines that we can spend all the next day, at work, repeating and tailoring to our everyday life scenarios. A veritable inside joke, a way to bond with colleagues, a way to break up the monotony of meetings and figure out who your TV show allies are. Last week’s “tread lightly” was followed by this week’s spoken gems and unspoken outbursts that made so very happy for the eventual tie-up of the series. Well, as happy as one can be for the ending of a superb TV show that features meth and money…
Yah, I’m gonna go ahead and say this is one of my absolute favorite lines in the entire show. Especially since it’s said in an interaction with Saul Goodman, the funniest unintentional funniest slimey lawyer I love to watch. I actually LOL’d and immediately thought of different ways to use this phrase. Like “sleeping with the fishes,” Breaking Bad has spawned a new way to refer to the sometimes unfortunate events that lead to being involved with Walter White. Saul suggesting that Walt send Hank Schrader on a trip to Belize a la Mike Armentrout was the best. Walt’s reaction, even funnier. And now we know where Walt stands on family, huh? I suppose that’s where he draws the line on murder.
Ah Skyler. She’s making a turn for the hopeful in not being offed by the writers and trying to win back the viewers’ hearts. I’m assuming that most of us dislike the Skyler character and I also assume that we’re supposed to not like her. But now, Skyler’s got some major choices to make, being stuck in the middle of knowing everything and Hank thinking she knows everything. And just when things were finally shaping up for the White family. The cafe scene where Hank tries to get Skyler to confess was preeeeeeetty suspenseful. I wondered how poor Skyler was going to get outta her predicament. And then she just starts yelling, causing a scene and running out on the bill. “AM I UNDER ARREST?” is the “shut up shut up shut up” of this season and Skyler definitely has a knack for getting out of hairy family situations.
First Hank punches Walt then Marie slaps Skyler. There’s a lot of Schrader on White violence these days. Not that it’s not deserved but just sayin’. You can hear the hurt behind the slap and then Marie goes all cray cray by trying to steal Skyler’s baby and leave. And since she does all this while wearing her signature purple…what does it all MEAN?! Hank steps in and allows the baby to be returned so that Marie doesn’t undoubtedly get arrested for kidnapping. Everyone’s gotta keep their wits about them if they want Walt to be punished. Marie tells Hank that he “better get him.” Cause the Schraders will bring you to justice and Marie will wear an all-purple outfit while doing it.
Huell and Kuby go to collect and transport the Whites’ massive amount of cash from their vault to Walter and Saul. I’m assuming there’s more to the scene than just the comedic relief (and Walt burying the money), but it’s pretty funny when they both just want to feel the cash under their skin and they lie on the money bed together. And Kuby’s whole “We’re here to do a job, not channel Scrooge McDuck” is pretty hilarious as well. I enjoyed this scene more than the Star Trek tangent from last week.
As Lydia Rodarte-Quayle tries to figure out what she’s doing without old Walter White and the blue meth, she travels to meet Declan’s meth lab…which happens to be a buried bus in the middle of the desert. Upon inspection and while wearing some fabulous Louboutins, Lydia tells them the lab is sub par and filthy…definitely not what her high-falutin’ clients are used to. Trouble is stirring up above and while Lydia crouches in the corner, Todd Alquist and his Uncle’s gang mow down the entire Declan crew. Welp, I guess that’s what Lydia is going to do without Walter White. And even though Lydia doesn’t want to see the carnage, we viewers are front and center as she walks through the graveyard of bloody bodies and begins her ascent with Todd.
“I’ve Got A Bladder The Size Of A Hot Water Bottle”
Says our old police officer friends who are back to questioning a detained Jesse Pinkman…again. This was a pretty funny exchange of arrogant cops trying to get Jesse to get riled up or talk or show any emotion. Poor Jesse just sits there, trapped in his head, dealing with his demons, ready to make some sort of move. But what?! For now, he’s silent while maintaining a trance-like stare. Jesse’s silence, as it’s progressed from his buddies talking about Star Trek to Walt talking about Mike to being interrogated by the police, speaks volumes. His internal implosion might be a breaking point in the very near future. Of course we’re left with the cliffhanger of Hank going in to try his hand at getting Jesse to talk. What could it be?! A deal? A threat?
So, the writers and producers and Breaking Bad team promised that they would wrap everything up and tie it in a neat little bow. Well…though I trust them with my whole being…I wonder how we are going to get closure on Gale Boetticher, Walter Jr, Marie’s kleptomania, vengeance for Jane Margolis’s death, Jane’s Dad’s suicide, the plane crashes, the White house in disarray at the beginning of the last episode…and the ricin! And if the cancer is back, what will happen? It’s ok. It’s not panic, folks, it’s sheer excitement. The theories on the internet are fantastic, in depth and far beyond what I can think about the show’s ending. It’s why the above lines make me happy, on their own merit. And why I’ll miss Breaking Bad.