Well it’s that time of day again for me to be intimidated by a small child because Jessica Simpson posted a photo on Twitter of her daughter Maxwell Drew and OHMYGOD if she isn’t the cutest little nugget I’ve seen in a long time. I mean I knew she was cute, but I didn’t know she was this cute. Just look at her. I can’t handle it.
Maxwell is only fifteen months old, but she’s already eschewed the normal baby poses. She’s like, “Yeah I’m a blond-haired blue-eyed cherub, but you won’t catch me smiling about it! I’m too cool for that, even in my pink cupcake shirt.” Because the thing is, call me paranoid, but I’m almost positive that she’s wearing that shirt ironically. And she knows it! The look on her face tells me that she’s already mastered something that I still don’t have a grasp on after almost twenty-six years of life. And that artfully tousled hair? I could work on my own hair for hours trying to make it look that trendy and I still couldn’t pull it off. Ugh, I’m such a square.
This is the kind of photo that makes me back up off my previous stance of making fun of J-Simp at every opportunity for being pregnant. Because if she’s making kids these adorable, my new motto is ‘KEEP ‘EM COMING’. It also makes me want a look at Ace Knute, Jessica’s son born back in June. We haven’t seen a photo of him yet, but Jessica’s sister Ashlee says he looks just like her son Bronx Mowgli (oh Hollywood names), and has blond hair just like his sister.
Basically, what I’m saying, is I’m starting a petition tonight requesting that Jessica and her fiancee Eric Johnson have enough babies to form a tight-knit team of stylists who can teach me about how to roam adorably around the world. I think they’d be good at that.