It’s not really a secret that we looove Orange Is The New Black around these parts and by, “these parts,” I mean the world. If someone were to ask me to describe how good of a show it is and if I were really into using clichés, I’d tell them that Orange Is The New Black is the new black. So, naturally, when I love a show, I troll the internet for anything and everything related to it even in the slightest. I realize that this kind of fixation may be a little unhealthy but so is eating a whole pint of ice cream at a time and I will never stop doing that.
What I’ve found, but am not at all surprised by, is that the members of the OITNB cast are not only really funny, but also insightful and, all around, people that I wish that I went to high school with. Here are the eight most beautiful little snippets of conversational gems that I’ve found from various interviews about the show.
Pablo Schreiber (Pornstache), to Yahoo! TV, on his character’s facial hair: “My opinion was outvoted, and I’m happy about that, because the mustache we ended up with is deliciously perfect. When I went into it, I initially had in mind sort of a handlebar thing, down to the chin, but now that I’ve seen it, the one we went with is just perfect.”
Can. You. Imagine. It would be like an all new show if Pornstache was more like Leather-Wearing-Motorcylist-stache. Also, the fact that he uses the word, “delicious” as a modifier for “perfect” makes me wants to have my own, like, pocket-sized Pablo that says things like that all the time. From my pocket.
Lea DeLaria (Big Boo), to Autostraddle: “Listen to me, girl, I was chilling out in the airport waiting for my flight and this guy goes, “Oh, Big Boo can I borrow your screwdriver?” He’s yelling that at me and he couldn’t be more heterosexual.”
Guys, one of the best things about this show is how unconventional it is in so many ways. There aren’t any two-dimensional stock characters and there certainly isn’t only one type of fan. Right, Lea?
LaVerne Cox (Sophia), to NPR: “When it came along, I thought, what a wonderful opportunity to talk about and highlight issues of trans women in prison. I’m really grateful [Sophia's] come into my life.”
You go, LaVerne. I’m all for soap-boxers who use their fame to inspire and educate.
It’s really funny that this is the way that the two got to know each other but, seriously, they’re such amazing actresses that there was no way anyone would have known this if Laura hadn’t told us. Am I right or am I right because I feel like I’m right.
Same, same, same.
Kate Mulgrew (Red), to Vulture: “Unwittingly I fall into [Red's accent]. The doormen in my building are Montenegrin, so now I come home and say [in Red’s accent], “How are you guys doing? What’s going on? What the fuck went on today?” They look at me like, What happened to you? She had a lobotomy! You went away and now you’re back and you think you’re this Russian bitch! My doormen aren’t nice to me anymore.”
Sometimes I do this with a faux-English accent in my own head but I imagine that it’s infinitely more funny when you say it out loud (and when it isn’t terrible like my English accent is).
Matt McGorry (Bennett), to Entertainment Weekly: “No one’s going to stop you and be like, “I hate the f—ing show” and walk away. Well, only one guy, but I took care of him.”
Beauty and wit. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be here swooning until the day that I die.
And the most important line from any Orange Is The New Black interview ever conducted thus far is the one from Laura Prepon’s Vulture interview: When we asked Prepon — who was in L.A. when we spoke to her pre-report — if she was returning to the show, she said, “Yeah, of course. It’s just scheduling. It’s all scheduling, girl.”
Hallelujah, feel free to praise whomever it is that you believe in because this is honestly a beautiful miracle. Everyone’s been battling anxiety over the fact that the character of Alex might be gone from the series and it feels so nice to have Laura, herself, clear things up. Phew.
(Lead Photo: IMDb)