7 Ways Breaking Amish: LA Keeps Ripping Off Breaking Amish

Breaking Amish LA Season 2, episode 4

Look, I love watching twenty-somethings break Amish as much as the next person. But if Breaking Amish: LA keeps blatantly ripping off Breaking Amish: The Original, I’m going to have to stop watching. And I mean it. I’ll watch reruns of Amish Mafia faster you can say, “there’s also a wonderful Amish film on Lifetime if you’re interested in watching fictional Amish drama that’s more believable that reality TV starring actual Amish folks.”

Before you start accusing me of overreacting to this copycatting, let me run you through my list of things that season’s already stolen from the first. 

 1. We have a rebel.

Remember how badass Jeremiah Raber was in season one? Well Andrew’s taking his spot as Douchebag Numero Uno in this group of goofy gal pals. And as the resident dickwad, he’s not taking any orders. Or suggestions. Even if they’re strong suggestions that are along the lines of, “please, please wear clothes around the house.”

2. We have makeovers

Just like in season one, the gang gets complete English makeovers. And then spends 45 minutes reminding us how taboo everything they just did is in their Amish communities. Blah, blah, blah…we know. We watched it happen the first time around. Also, let’s go ahead and assume that everything we see on the show is taboo at home. Mmkay? Show me something new and exciting. Something a little bit less Princess Diaries and a little bit more “you’re going to regret that tattoo of all our faces on your back….” Also show me Lizzie’s actual natural hair. Because what we just saw on TV last night looked pretty professionally done to me. What up highlights in never-been-touched-before Amish hair!

3. We have uncomfortable sexual moments

Back in season one, we had to listen to the kids talk about how it’s totally normal for Amish men to have sex with animals. And now we’re forced to re-enter that Discomfort Zone (located next to that shut down Discovery Zone across the street from the shut down mall) when we watch Devon get turned on by his haircut. At first I was all like, maybe I’m misunderstanding this, there’s no way an electric razor on his shoulder would get him all hot and bothered. But yes, there is a way and it was confirmed that it did. So yeah, that’s fun to watch happen.

4. We have a clinically insane girl 

Krazy Kate certainly proved to be big enough hit during season one that they hired Batty Betsy to full her role. And tell you what, she might be even more insane than Kate was during those locked bathroom camera sessions. Not only does she believe in witchcraft, but she also hears spirits. Which means only one things, she secretly watched a lot of Hocus Pocus during her childhood. Or she’s a witch. So fine, it could mean two things.

5. We have Abe and Rebecca drama

Even though we thought we left Rebecca and Abe in Florida, they’ve come to L.A via Abe’s brother, Andrew. During the episode, he admits that he is Abe’s brother and that Rebecca’s ruined everything and that he’s barely spent any time with his niece. (And yes, the usage of the word niece from Andrew once again confirms that Abe’s probably the mystery father.) Considering the fact that we got two seasons full of their drama, I’m kinda over that ish.

6.  We have a scandalous baby

As you may or may definitely have noticed, Lizzie’s pregnant! With a baby! Despite the fact that ultrasounds are totally banned by the Amish, she gets one. You know what else she gets? The sex of the baby. Guess what else is banned by the Amish? Learning a baby’s sex. Want to know what I think they should name the baby? Okay, I’ll tell you — Banish. Baby Banish Breaking Amish. Ban for short.

7. We have ignorance

Ahhh, it wouldn’t be Breaking Amish, if we got through an entire episode without an ignorant comment. This week’s is brought to you by Iva and a restaurant. ”Is this like chinesetown or something?” she adorably asks before going on her date, (shhh, she doesn’t know it’s a date) with Devon. It’s not as high up on my list as the season one gang asking what’s up with MLK day, but it’s definitely on my list of moments that I truly hope are scripted on the show.

(Photo: Allie is Wired)

 

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    • RealityGirl

      Jenni <—– (see how I did that? Got your name right!) Lizzie's brother, he of the red onesie and the barber's chair fetish, is named SAM. Devon is the other guy, the one who looks pretty well used to the surfer gear he gets "made over" into….

      • Jenni

        To be completely honest, I confuse Sam and Devon every single episode. I don’t know why it’s such a struggle for me. It’s why I had to stop watching RHOOC, I really struggled with those ladies too.

      • Jenni

        To be completely honest, I confuse Sam and Devon every single episode. I don’t know why it’s such a struggle for me. It’s why I had to stop watching RHOOC, I really struggled with those ladies too.

    • Observer321

      Just saw the final episode where Lizzie had her baby, YUK!. That is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen. Another case of a black man taking advantage of a naive white girl. Taxpayers get your wallets open, here is another one we will have to support.

      • Jenni

        Where can I mail your award for “most racist comment before I’ve eaten lunch”

      • MCR

        Be grateful you didn’t hear it just *after* eating lunch.

    • Lady Devin

      Wow, I really like this bunch of Amish better than the first. I liked Matt the best as he remained most faithful to his faith. I love Lizzie and Sam’s personalities. Devon and Iva were dissapointing andBetsy was odd, though it was nice to see her with her grandma at the end. I do think she owes her husband a visit, or at the very least a card. Did she and Sam really share a one-night-stand? Bizarre that Sam would deflower himself with a married woman.