• Fri, Aug 9 2013

Jennifer Aniston Can’t Stop Losing Her Clothes In We’re The Millers, Also My Respect

Jennifer Aniston Stripping We're The Millers

Jennifer Aniston took off her clothes several times in We’re the Millers. But that probably doesn’t surprise you since trailers would have you think that’s the entire premise of the movie. “Jennifer Aniston removes her clothes and some other stuff and Jennifer Aniston is a stripper and blah blah other stuff, LOOK AT HER IN HER UNDERWEAR BOYS, FEAST YOUR EYES. Also starring recent SNL alum, Jason Sudeikis.” While I’ll be honest with you and say that I did laugh aloud during the movie, I’ll also say that it’s one of the stupidest movies I’ve seen in quite some time. It’s not only predictable, but also full of lighthearted homophobic jokes that I’m not really of fan of since, um, I don’t know, we decided “gay” wasn’t an acceptable punchline.

While I absolutely adored Jennifer Aniston back in her Friends days, that was 10 years ago now and she just doesn’t do it for me anymore. Between her lackluster movies and her even more lackluster relationship drama, I’m no longer a fan. Especially since she continues to use movies to prove she’s still a hot commodity, rather than a talented actor. On one hand, she has a great body. You won’t walk away from We’re the Millers thinking anything else. On the other hand, so what? We got the point after the first strip tease and the second. By the time the third one came around, I couldn’t help but yawn. Purposely. You know, to make a point in case any movie executive were watching me. I like to think that my facial expressions when watching a movie are just as key as profit when the powers that be in Hollywood decide whether they should make another movie or not.

Sure, I’ll admit that she does more in the movie than just strip. There is some lite acting involved. But because she does strip in the movie, that’s become the focus of the movie’s marketing campaign. When on The Talk and on Good Morning America, her stripper workout regimen became the go-to topic for the hosts to bring up. Think Anne Hathaway talking about eating dried oatmeal squares for Les Mis, but even more annoying because We’re the Millers doesn’t involve one revolution or one Aaron Tveit. (Side note: can actors make a movie these days without telling us how their fridge prepared for it?)

Here’s the thing, Jennifer Aniston’s technically better than the movies she makes. I know that, because The Good Girl happened. It was a long time ago now, but it happened! We all remember that right? She got great reviews for showing that she’s more than a haircut accompanied by a laugh track. She can act! And she should be at the point in her career, where she can choose movies that actually allow her to do just that. I get that at the beginning of actor’s careers, they have to take whatever they can get to make a name for themselves. But then I also like to think that once they make it, they get to be a little more discriminating with the projects that they choose. That they have so many millions upon millions in the bank (130 million to be exact in Jennifer Aniston’s case), so it’s not like they need the paycheck. They just want it. Which is why Jen ends up with movies like The Bounty Hunter and Just Go With It on her resume.

Maybe Jennifer Aniston likes showing off her body. Maybe this stripper role’s a dream come true for her. Like I said, she definitely has the body to pull it off. But I just want to believe that’s not true. I want to believe that she’s the better than We’re the Millers. But maybe it’s time, after seeing her act in quite the string of forgettable movies, that I accept that’s not the case. Maybe, after all this time, she’s just a mediocre actor with great abs. And I suppose if that’s the case, she’s probably crossing her fingers that people like dick jokes enough to turn this movie into a sequel. Yes, sorry, spoiler alert, there is a very visual dick joke that’s there purely for *shock* value.

(Photo: People)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    Does this movie turn into a romantic comedy? Because whenever I see Jennifer Aniston’s name on a movie poster, I immediately think “clichéd romcom!”

    • Jenni

      Not quite a romcom, but yes you did predict the ending.