So you fancy yourself a Mean Girls fan, do you? You watch it every time it’s on TV? You make your friends roar with laughter when you make the perfect reference for the conversation? Well, you should probably rethink your level of obsession, because there is a person in this world who has memorized the whole of Tina Fey’s legendary script and is able to recite it in less than 30 minutes. Next Movie’s intern Christopher Rosa sat down in front of a camera wearing what looks like Damian’s polo shirt (“I want my pink shirt back!”) to rush through every line in the best movie ever. And it’s fetch and grool and how many Mean Girls references can I make to talk about this video? The limit does not exist. As Next Movie declares, “He just made fetch happen.”
Of course, in order to get through every line in less than one-third the movie’s actual runtime, Christopher has to talk very very fast. Like, so fast that Lorelai Gilmore watched this video and couldn’t keep up. I’m just going to warn you that when you press play on this video your face will look like a dog’s face when it hangs its head out of the window on a car trip. It sounds like a cross between trying to make sure your oral presentation on Abraham Lincoln doesn’t go over time and being possessed by the devil. I can honestly only understand about 20-30% of what he says.
At one point the phone rings and Christopher totally gets through it without being distracted. You go Glen Coco! You might think he’s just reading cue cards, but I honestly believe he has it memorized. He looks in all different directions, mostly up toward the ceiling. Of course, he could have made a mistake or two, but we won’t know until another person with this ability makes a response video pointing out the flaws.
I can’t wait for someone to crack the code of Christopher’s weird party trick. Say crack again. Crack. Okay, I’m done.