Happy birthday to Jennifer Lawrence, who turns — wait wait what? You mean to tell me that her twenty-third birthday isn’t for another nine days, on August 15th? Huh. That’s weird. Well I hope you can forgive my mistake, because we have what feels like a constant celebration of this young lady’s life going on, and sometimes I get confused. I guess I should explain what I mean by that. And I will, but I want you to brace yourselves, because it involves a controversial opinion — Jennifer Lawrence is overrated. GASP! SHOCK! GLASS SHATTERING.
That’s right! You heard me correctly! I’m not as obsessed with her as I guess I’m supposed to be. For one thing, I don’t think she should have won the Oscar for Silver Linings Playbook. I think that honor should have gone to Jessica Chastain for her mind-blowing work in Zero Dark Thirty because ohmygoddidyouseethatmovie. Silver Linings Playbook was an excellent movie, yeah, but if someone was going to win an Academy Award for it, it should’ve been Bradley Cooper. Just my opinion.
But it went to JLaw instead. Because America is OBSESSED WITH HER. She’s smart, she’s talented, she’s beautiful, she’s kind, she’s humble, and most importantly, she’s just like us in an unpolished, accessible sort of way, but is she really the best thing ever to grace modern media and the shining star which we all should follow across the Hollywood galaxy? Probably not.
She’s overrated, guys. She just is. Agree with me and admit it! She’s that really great song that you hear on the radio once and you’re like OH DAMN THIS IS MY JAM. And you hear it fifteen more times and every time you stop what you’re doing to shake your body around to it. And you even hear it twenty more times and you point your finger at someone and make a face like “Oh yes, this is it, we are living.” But then a couple months later it pops up on your gym mix and you’re like, “Ugh, shut up, I get it! You kissed a girl and you liked it. Why are you telling me about it?”
But I don’t want to act like JLaw is the only person suffering under this affliction. Here in the celebrity world, we’re stuffed to the gills with overrated celebrities, so don’t get it twisted. Just to prove my point, here are nine more famous folk that we all like a little more than we probably should.
1. WILL SMITH
2. ANNA KENDRICK
3. CHANNING TATUM
4. KATY PERRY
5. BEN AFFLECK
6. EMMA WATSON
7. GERARD BUTLER
8. LADY GAGA
9. JUSTIN BIEBER
I don’t know about you guys, but that list inspired me to take a stand, just now. It’s too late for some of those (bucket-pissing) celebrities I just mentioned, as well it should be, but I don’t want it to be too late for Jennifer Lawrence. I think she’s awesome, and I want to be able to keep on thinking that. Which is something I won’t do if I spend the next ten years seeing her play the gritty, layered, female lead in every single Oscar-bait movie. I already went through that with Keira Knightley in every period piece known to man and Dakota Fanning in every kid’s role known to man, and I don’t want to do it again. It was like there wasn’t a single other person on earth who could wear a corset or pass for eight.
JLaw is great, yes, but part of her charm is that she doesn’t think so, so let’s just get over it for a second and give her some space to mature in peace. She’s a great actor now and I think she’s destined to become a truly great actor later, but that’s only if we don’t circle jerk her to death in 2013. You wanna build a Meryl Streep and not a Julia Roberts, right? Yeah. So put it away, keep both hands on the table, and curb that obsession, even if it’s just the teeeeensiest bit. It’s for everybody’s own good, I promise.