• Mon, Aug 5 - 4:43 pm ET

A List Of Possible Reasons Robert Pattinson Was At Kristen Stewart’s House For Two Hours

Robert Pattinson driving May 2013

This is Rob in May, looking similarly secretive.

Well well well, look what we have here. In the immortal words of Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl, SPOTTED! Robert Pattinson parking his car outside Kristen Stewart’s house. That’s right. After months of separation, urban legends about hand-holding, and more mystery ladies than Sherlock could shake a stick at, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were in the same place at the same time. Robsten lives!

X17Online has photos of Rob driving to Kristen’s place in Los Feliz, California last week. Kristen’s truck was also parked outside. A photographer who witnessed the incident revealed the scoop (no word on if they were under oath), saying, “Rob looked nervous on his way to visit Kristen. He was trying to be discreet so no one would see him.” He apparently drove a white Durango with an out-of-state license plate, meaning he probably did not want anyone to know he was there, obviously because they are so back together, you guys, and not at all because he knew everyone would blow this thing way out of proportion. Rob reportedly stayed at the house for approximately two hours, based on the watch of someone with a lot of time on their hands and probably creepy binoculars.

This two hours detail got me thinking about what Rob could have possibly been doing in that house all that time. There are so many possibilities, from sexytimes to boringtimes. And I think the best thing we can do right now, to really cope with the shock of this new development, is to lay out a few hypothetical reasons and then just close our eyes and point to one.

  • Rob spent one hour separating Kristen’s faux-distressed baseball caps from his faux-distressed baseball caps, then another hour separating his faux-distressed T-shirts from her faux-distressed T-shirts.
  • They spent 15 minutes having sex and then stared vacantly into each other’s eyes for an hour and 45 minutes. “Still got it,” Rob declared, and left.
  • They watched two full episodes of Orange is the New Black and then Rob used the bathroom before he left.
  • Rob switched the salt and the sugar when Kristen wasn’t looking and then spent the rest of the time trying to convince her to cook something with it.
  • Rob walked in, sat on the couch, watched two hours of TV when Kristen wasn’t home, then remembered he didn’t live there anymore and left.
  • After finally realizing they’d been accidentally using each other’s phones since they broke up, they met up to switch and then silently caught up on three months’ worth of messages.
  • Rob remembered that Kristen had stocked up on that soup he really liked that he couldn’t find at his grocery store anymore, so he went over to have a bowl, then passed out in a food coma.
  • Having been bitten by a snake mere feet from Kristen’s house, Rob had no choice but to ask for her help. She sucked out the venom and spent the rest of the time tenderly bandaging his leg.
  • Rob, while trying to move his sofa out, got it stuck in the back door and spent two hours comically trying to get it unstuck. It’s still stuck.

(Photo: Cousart-Rayne/JFXimages/WENN.com)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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  • Alicia

    If the pap was there for two hours, why couldn’t he snap one pic of Rob entering or leaving the house? BTW, the pics of Rob in his white Durango were camera dated July 29 while the pics of Kristen’s house were dated yesterday. If the pap was close enough to see Rob’s face and say that he was “nervous”, couldn’t he at least snap a money shot? Just sayin’…. I mean two hours is a long time to get your camera ready

    • M

      X17 is notorious for snapping photos of a celebrity somewhere and claiming that they are somewhere else. I wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t actually KStew’s house, but just some random Spanish style house they claimed was KStew’s to make the story more dramatic. Or, you know, they could just be friends or maybe one of his British friends was visiting and borrowed his car to drive over and visit with KStew. My guess is they have mutual friends and are stilly friendly with each other, despite what the tabloids might say. Lots of options

      I prefer the Orange is the New Black option, though, as it is more amusing. Honestly, all this stuff about Sparkles and Mopey is getting old.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Sparkles and Mopey should totally be a TV show.

    • ABV

      Maybe against the odds they never really broke up and the story that the papps ran with in May is all made up,I mean really,they can’t dupe the female population into believing that a papp reported a story about a telephone fight and everyone believed it,can they?,Lol.

  • Olivia Wilson

    I imagine they just said “whatever” to one another in varying tones for two hours. That seems like it’d be their thing.

  • tamahome

    LOL… that was pretty funny … i’m sure someone is gonna believe your “possible reasons ” as real truth .. thanks for the entertainment !

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Thank YOU for reading!

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      That’s the idea!

  • Kristyn Gomez

    Omg! I love this article

  • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

    None of the above. They had a deep conversation as whether the dogs needed to be taken to therapy for their depression at losing there secure home and being cared for by just Rob who KIDNAPPED Bernie who was Kristen’s dog first. Neither dog is eating well and both are losing weight. A sad situation.

    • MCR

      Actually, he was there to kidnap the new dog as well. I think dog-abducting has become something of an obsession. Soon he’ll be snatching dogs from neighbours and passers-by, and there’ll be no way to hush it up any longer.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      OMG I forgot about K’s new dog. I know you are right and he has taken that one too. He is becoming an animal hoarder. We need to call Animal Control on him. I bet Los Feliz has rules in that gated community about how many animals you can have living there. How large is the limit I wonder? I bet no Pit Bulls either.We need to call whoever administrates that gated community and whistle blow on Rob.

    • MCR

      A smart paparazzo would make the call himself, then stand by to take pictures of the authorities arriving. And publish them along with a comment from a “source” inside the ASPCA.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Very good strategy. But I object to your paparazzo. I prefer it to be paparazza and herself instead of himself. Just a PC feminist correction. Hope you don’t mind.

    • MCR

      LOL That’s fine. I still obstinately use the masculine generic in almost all situations, but I’m open minded about the linguistic perversions of others.

    • TiredMom321

      Oh, God, the two of you are completely cracking me up!

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      That’s our intention. Jump in the pool and splash around.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Oh a little masculine gendering there eh…….

  • talon

    Im thinking Rob and Kristen got together to laugh about how easy it is to make a pap sit for two hours outside their house! LOL

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      LOL! Great!

  • Pingback: Crushable – A lista de possíveis razões de Robert Pattinson estar na casa de Kristen Stewart por duas horas « KristenHeaven.com ► Kristen Heaven Brasil || Seu melhor site de notícias sobre a atriz Kristen Stewart no Brasil!

  • TiredMom321

    They were discussing whether they should move to Idaho, Montana, or New Jersey, to get away from the paparazzi.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Or maybe to Russia to join Snowden.

    • TiredMom321

      Now there’s a thought!

    • charlotte crowder

      FYI I thought I had erased all of Robs interviews but found one I missed of Ellens.It was Rob and Taylor promoting BDW2. Ellen asked Rob if another BDW2 were to be made and what would it be about? HE said about aliens coming to earth.Then the kicker was Edward would turn gay and he and Bella would raise the child together. Is that not weird?He reached up to a picture of Taylor in all in gorgeousness and acted like he was going to pinch a nipple but the picture changed and he was pinching his “private part” It was hilarious. I thougt that was rather profound.With all the talk about Rob being bi and gay. Oh well just happend to find that and thought it tied in with what everyone else is writing. In one of the pictures of his “leaving the house” he had either a smirk or a slight smile on face. What could that mean.?He thought he had fooled the paps?Well it certainly got him some attention and we all know he loves that despite what he says. He never tries to hide where he is.

  • MCR

    If I remember my Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy correctly, a permanently stuck sofa indicates a time warp of some kind. Which means that there’s no way to objectively judge how long he was there. Also that aliens are probably involved.

    • TiredMom321

      Wait – so then the redhead in the truck was an alien? I had her pegged as the ghost of Lucille Ball (what with Rob doing Maps to the Stars and all) – damn I hate to be wrong!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      I am LOVING these conspiracy theories.

    • MCR

      No, let’s go with your original theory! Hollywood ghosts work so much better than aliens.
      I’m thinking he was chauffeuring the ghost of Clara Bow.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Yes it was the ghost of the young Lucille Ball. She was beautiful. But what if it was Kristen’s double? Does look like her.

    • MCR

      What if it was Kristen’s GHOST?!

    • TiredMom321

      Kristen is still alive and kicking (at paparazzi) . . . maybe a stunt double? (Oh, we should all just give up and admit it was Kristen!)

    • MCR

      “Kristen is still alive…”
      Or IS she?

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      My very reliable source just texted me to tell me tht Kristen had been abducted by Aliens – not Big Foot this time as in Toronto last year – and her double has been substituted. No one knows it’s her double.Not even Rob. IN fact some in the know have formed the opinion he likes the double better. She is less cheeky which everyone attributes to Kristen maturing.

    • MCR

      Big Foot was in Toronto? Nobody ever tells me anything.

      So what are the aliens doing with the real Kristen, a Butterfield 8 remake?

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Big Foot took her into the woods in Toronto and impregnated her. Didn’t you read it in Occupytabloids?

    • MCR

      How did I miss that?

    • TiredMom321

      But if we go with aliens, we could go with X-Files investigator Dana Scully (aka Gillian Anderson), also a redhead . . . or Shirley MacLaine, who believes she has had encounters with aliens . . . or Sigourney Weaver, who starred in Aliens . . . who else can we add to the theme?

    • MCR

      Well, there’s a conspiracy theory that all redheads are alien-human hybrids, which would open it up to almost any ginger girl.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      BUt do you know which Aliens are involved. Are they from Mars, Saturn or Jupiter. I need to know so I can plan my space trip accordingly as they will probably kidnap Rob now.

    • TiredMom321

      Remember . . . Men are from Mercury, Women are from Venus . . . so I guess that leaves Saturn or Jupiter?

    • MCR

      Men are from Mars. Mercury is still available.

    • TiredMom321

      I stand corrected. ;-)

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