Well well well, look what we have here. In the immortal words of Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl, SPOTTED! Robert Pattinson parking his car outside Kristen Stewart’s house. That’s right. After months of separation, urban legends about hand-holding, and more mystery ladies than Sherlock could shake a stick at, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were in the same place at the same time. Robsten lives!
X17Online has photos of Rob driving to Kristen’s place in Los Feliz, California last week. Kristen’s truck was also parked outside. A photographer who witnessed the incident revealed the scoop (no word on if they were under oath), saying, “Rob looked nervous on his way to visit Kristen. He was trying to be discreet so no one would see him.” He apparently drove a white Durango with an out-of-state license plate, meaning he probably did not want anyone to know he was there, obviously because they are so back together, you guys, and not at all because he knew everyone would blow this thing way out of proportion. Rob reportedly stayed at the house for approximately two hours, based on the watch of someone with a lot of time on their hands and probably creepy binoculars.
This two hours detail got me thinking about what Rob could have possibly been doing in that house all that time. There are so many possibilities, from sexytimes to boringtimes. And I think the best thing we can do right now, to really cope with the shock of this new development, is to lay out a few hypothetical reasons and then just close our eyes and point to one.
- Rob spent one hour separating Kristen’s faux-distressed baseball caps from his faux-distressed baseball caps, then another hour separating his faux-distressed T-shirts from her faux-distressed T-shirts.
- They spent 15 minutes having sex and then stared vacantly into each other’s eyes for an hour and 45 minutes. “Still got it,” Rob declared, and left.
- They watched two full episodes of Orange is the New Black and then Rob used the bathroom before he left.
- Rob switched the salt and the sugar when Kristen wasn’t looking and then spent the rest of the time trying to convince her to cook something with it.
- Rob walked in, sat on the couch, watched two hours of TV when Kristen wasn’t home, then remembered he didn’t live there anymore and left.
- After finally realizing they’d been accidentally using each other’s phones since they broke up, they met up to switch and then silently caught up on three months’ worth of messages.
- Rob remembered that Kristen had stocked up on that soup he really liked that he couldn’t find at his grocery store anymore, so he went over to have a bowl, then passed out in a food coma.
- Having been bitten by a snake mere feet from Kristen’s house, Rob had no choice but to ask for her help. She sucked out the venom and spent the rest of the time tenderly bandaging his leg.
- Rob, while trying to move his sofa out, got it stuck in the back door and spent two hours comically trying to get it unstuck. It’s still stuck.