• Sun, Aug 4 - 12:00 pm ET

Simon Cowell’s Pregnant Girlfriend ‘Isn’t A Golddigger’ Which Means That’s Probably Exactly What She Is

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You know that thing when someone gets defensive, it’s because they know they’re wrong? Like, because the only reason to get defensive is because you’re angry, and you’re angry because you’ve probably been caught or called out for doing something that pisses people off?  Right.  Well, welcome to Simon Cowell’s pregnant girlfriend (paramour? ladyfriend? acquaintance? the “oops-his-penis-just-fell-into-me” chick?) and her new life as a scandal-starter.  And before you jump down my throat, yes I absolutely know it takes two to tango.  I learned that in my junior high biology dance lessons.

Lauren Silverman, forevermore known as the woman who finds Simon Cowell’s V-necks irresistible, isn’t a “golddigger,” according to her mom.  Otherwise known as the one person in the world who is obligated to defend you against all odds.  ”All odds” in this situation being that Lauren really likes to marry wealthy men and cheat on them with other really wealthy men.  She has a hefty prenup secured with her current husband, and unless he can prove adultery (I don’t know much about the legal system in New York, but I’m assuming being with Simon Cowell’s child shouldn’t be too difficult to prove- it will probably come out wearing one of his dad’s Baby Gap shirts), she stands to get a lot of money from him.  I’m also assuming that bearing the fruit of Simon’s loins won’t exactly leave her in the poor house, either.

Anyway, Lauren’s mom has a lot to say about this matter and she’s saying it to The Sun, so that tells me she’s either really naive about the whole “no comment” standard and just wants to defend her kid, or she really likes attention.  Who knows?

“I trust Simon will do the right thing by my daughter. She tells me great things about him and has always spoken very highly of him.  My daughter’s marriage was not perfect.  There are two sides to every story.  Life is what it is.”

 

As a child of two insane, divorced parents, I totally get the whole “two sides” thing.  A nasty divorce has a tendency to bring upon sudden amnesia for both parties, and what they may have done wrong to contribute to the combustion of their marriage and psychological damage of their children.  So I’m not saying this Lauren lady is totally in the wrong.  But she totally should have been divorced before playing “Simon Says… No Condoms!” …ya dig?

(Photo: WENN)

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