Hello little caterpillars! I trust you have all spent the day dutifully transforming into butterflies inside your individual chrysalises, is that correct? None of you rushed off to change your hair for the two thousandth time in four months like Rihanna did, right? I’m hoping not, because the amount of sleuthing I’ve already done in that case to try to determine what it all means is enough to last me a lifetime.
Or maybe if today was a more productive day for you, you spent it becoming a diamond-selling artist like Justin Bieber. That would’ve been a good use of your time, but I don’t know if you’d necessarily be able to do the whole thing in less than eight hours, y’know? I mean, Justin’s like the coolest dude alive, and it took him all the way since 2011 to make ‘Baby’ go twelve-times platinum.
But no matter how you spent your day, I just know that the only reason you got through it is because you were looking forward to a funny video at the end of it, so I figure I might as well oblige you. So here it is, starshines — Your Stupid Laugh Of The Day.
Today’s funny video is just an animal being cute, because try as you might, you’ll never truly get over that. So stop pretending. It’s a little baby river otter playing with a human, which is already adorable, but then it makes the cutest little happy-squeaks while doing it that you could ever imagine. It just makes me want to sell all my possessions and go live in a zoo. Except, not a regular zoo where the animals are mistreated — some glorious open-air zoo where all the animals are babies and they trust me and eat out of my hand and we’re the best of friends. So, like…Narnia, I guess. I think I’m describing Narnia.
Or this video. It’s basically just forty-five seconds of a very happy otter scooting around on the grass, and I don’t have a single thing negative to say about it. And neither should you, you big bully.