• Thu, Aug 1 - 1:10 pm ET

Ellen DeGeneres Goes To War With Kris Jenner, And We’ll Obviously Take All The Bullets For Her

Ellen DeGeneres Look at Me I'm Delicious

(via)

When it comes to anyone versus Kris Jenner, I’ll always be on Team Anyone. But when it comes to Ellen DeGeneres versus Kris Jenner, I’ll be on the front lines, fighting the good fight. Between her menagerie of child Youtube stars and myself, we’ll most definitely win this war. And thanks to Sophia Grace and Rosie, we’ll probably win it while listening to a little Nicki Minaj.

According to our overly dramatic friends at The National Enquirer, Ellen’s upset that Kris Jenner’s new show has better ratings than her in some markets. So she’s therefore going on the offensive and reminding everyone that Kris is only out for herself. And the fact that she has so many guest stars on the show already proves that she doesn’t have the personality to carry her own show. Also, she’s a money-grubbing monster who tried to pimp out her brand new grandbaby for ratings.

Unfortunately for Ellen, she’s going about this (alleged) war all wrong. All wrong indeed. Everyone already knows that Kris Jenner is Satan’s estranged stepsister and that she would gladly sell her whole family into slavery if it meant ratings. Ellen needs to remind everyone that she’s best by being the best. And that means getting all her classic celebrity guests on board. I want to see Kristen Bell hold a sloth, I want to see Taylor Swift scream from being scared and I want to see Diane Keaton wasted. Oh also I want to see Kate McKinnon imitiate Ellen and I want to see her do it right now.

Kris Jenner’s guest list reads like a who’s who at the Kardashian Family Thanksgiving table. There’s no way that her show is or will ever be better than Ellen’s show. And I’m saying that never having seen it. So it’s time that Ellen step up her game and get the best back on the show.

What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • Amy_Mouse

    What the hell did I just read?

  • Connie

    How can anyone even think that that monster mom would have a better show than Ellen. Ellen has everything you would want for a talk show host, that other person has nothing unless you want her to talk about herself or her family neither which is interesting . Ellen is CLASS-
    Kris is just un wanted trash!!!!

  • Raquel

    I saw Kris’s show once and that was enough, the way she watches herself on the camera while interviewed is stupid, as for Ellen you don’t have nothing to worry about , the times I don’t watch your show is when you have Rosie and Grace because those girls drive me nuts , you have them so many times on your show , makes me wonder don’t the girls go to SCHOOL !! , other than that you have a great show you have nothing to worry about

  • a043830

    Who really cares about this? I mean, really, don’t we have more important issues at present? Won’t this take care of itself with the ratings? I like Ellen okay, but I don’t really care about this one way or the other.