I’m so glad that gay marriage is legal now, because I’m going to use it to marry Neil Patrick Harris. What’s that you say? The term ‘gay marriage’ isn’t used to describe when a straight lady like myself wants to marry a gay man like NPH and give herself the right to hang around his life and be a cool aunt to his kids and be in his Instagrams? Because that’s all I want.
Neil went on Conan last night to promote his new movie The Smurfs 2 (which is fun for any family, but especially one that does drugs!), and tell adorable stories about bonding with Elton John and his fiance David Furnish over starting the surrogacy process around the same time. Apparently NPH and David whispered sweet secret nothings to each other at a Christmas party at some point, and were among the first to know about each of their impending children. (As a side note, ‘Impending Children’ would be an excellent band name. But probably a terrible band.)
But since Conan and Neil were talking about David and Elton, it wasn’t long ’til the conversation turned to that oft-discussed photo in which David is gently cupping NPH’s rump. Apparently Neil has gotten this question enough times now that he finally wanted to put it to rest, so he goes into a detailed explanation of acceptable but-touching in a gay male on gay male scenario. (See: any and all.)
I won’t totally ruin it for you, mostly because NPH gets such an eye-twinkling joy from telling it, but I will reveal that he uses the verbs ‘honking’, ‘cupping’, and ‘goosing’, and I’m prepared never to go back to my closed-minded straight vocabulary for butt stuff ever again.