‘Lindsay Lohan Finished Rehab’ — A Sentence I Never Thought I’d Write

Lindsay Lohan at LAX airport in Los Angeles April 2013A lot of things have changed since Lindsay Lohan first entered rehab at the beginning of May. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are together broken up together again, Crushable has changed offices, and I have eaten my entire hat. I can’t explain either of those first two, or most things in the world of celebrity news, but the reason behind the last one is that I was wrong, wrong, so wrong, because I really honestly never thought this day would come.

When I heard that Lindsay had to do a ninety-day stint in rehab, I A. immediately organized an office-wide pool of how long she would actually stay and B. promptly regretted going as high as eighteen days when I placed my own bet. There was just so much to suggest that LiLo wouldn’t make it to the facility at all, much less that she’d stay there. I don’t want to be a pessimist in the face of someone’s recovery, but I’ve been burned so many times before by this girl that I wasn’t in the mood to give her the benefit of the doubt this time.

And nothing about those first couple days led me to believe that I would lose all my money! Remember? She was supposed to start on May 2nd, and she did in fact check into Morningside Rehab that day, but it turns out she wasn’t in the mood to stick around, and that facility wasn’t approved anyway, so she promptly checked out. The next day, she checked into the Betty Ford Facility, where she spent like a month, and then left there to go finish out her sentence at Cliffside, in Malibu. Which she did. Yeah, that’s right — she finished it. The three months is over today, July 31st, in the 2013th year of our lord, and LiLo is officially a free agent.

She was photographed leaving Cliffside today in a blue-patterned dress with knee socks, ankle boots, a suede jacket, and sunglasses, and she actually looks surprisingly good. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, but I’m really encouraged by the look on her face, not to mention the fact that she’s planning to go stay with a sober coach before making her full transition back into the real world.

I’m letting myself be cautiously optimistic, which I hope doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass, but no matter where you end up, Lindsay, let’s go ahead and try to stay off the Adderall, yes? Because those speedballs you were dropping on the set of The Canyons sound like no joke.

(Image: PacificCoastNews.com)

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