Have you guys been holding out on me? Did you know that Alison Brie and Dave Franco were dating, and did you hoard that information to yourself so I would not know of it? That was really shady of you, because I’ve spent the last two years having absolutely no idea that they were together, and now I have to catch up on all twenty-four months of their relationship in one day.
LUCKILY they’re still together, which I found out because they were spotted by The Daily Mail on an ‘intimate lunch date’ at The Ivy in Beverly Hills, with Alison sporting a ‘thigh-skimming summer frock’ and ‘not to be outdone, Franco outfitted himself with lace up boots, blue jeans, and a starched white button down shirt.” It was a date to remember. And to think I almost missed it! And did miss most of it!
I missed the first kiss, exactly halfway between the set of Mad Men and James Franco‘s NYU classroom, where Dave was headed to bring his brother more dried macaroni for his students’ murals to help them better understand violence in cinema. It was in the rain — obvi, he is a Franco, after all — and no one over the age of thirty-five could see it, because it was that cool and trendy. I missed the first time they said ‘I love you’, which was while Alison was watching a clip on YouTube of James hosting the Oscars. I missed the first time they met each others’ parents, when they all joined hands and skipped around a large maypole, as is Hollywood custom. I missed a whole lot of first things, but I did not miss them having lunch at The Ivy, and I shall not miss anything between them forever more, now that my eyes have been opened to their precious love.
I hope that when and if these two get married, Alison hyphenates her last name so it’s Franco-Brie, and that a lunch place near my office takes the initiative to make that into a delicious themed sandwich with French Brie and French apples (is that a thing?) and French toast with French fries on the side, with French truffle oil. That’s how you know it’s real love — when there’s a sandwich named after it, but especially when said sandwich gives me a food boner. Just saying.
(Image: Tonnessen / Steinberg / PacificCoastNews.com)