• Mon, Jul 29 - 1:12 pm ET

6 Reasons I’m Pretty Sure The Cast Of Breaking Amish: LA Are Actually Professional Actors

Breaking Amish LA in public 2x02Looks like the people behind the incredibly popular Breaking Amish series got a lot smarter this time around. Rather than cast real Amish-turned-English people in their show, they might’ve have gone all out and cast English-never-was-anything-but-English in Breaking Amish: Los Angeles. Then they went a step further and scrubbed their social media accounts so you can’t find out who they are and where they’ve come from or why they’ve gotten arrested. While this complete lack of background information makes the show seem a lot more legit than the first season, it also makes it a lot less fun. There was something so incredibly gratifying in playing detective and finding that photo of Rebecca and Abe holding a baby that’s dated years before they supposedly met for the first time on the show.

Before you’re like, “maybe the complete lack of information on them proves that they’re actually Amish and not paid actors,” let’s talk about last night’s episode and let’s talk about it in list form. Because it felt more scripted than anything than I’ve ever head come out of Kris Jenner’s mouth. And her mouth just regurgitates scripts. All the live long day. If you ever see her chewing something on the show, it’s not food. It’s dialogue. She’s just gnashing it into her brain so it sounds almost natural coming out of her mouth.

So with no further ado, let me present the six reasons that make me pretty convinced that these Amish adults are actually actors who know their way around around a reality show. And no, these are not direct quotes.

1. Iva, Lizzie and Matt run into each other at the airport and act way too surprised to see each other. 

“OMG Lizzie, what are you doing here in the airport? Going to LA? NO WAY! Me too! This is like crazy. Because when I spotted another Amish person dressed in traditional Amish clothes in the airport, I assumed she got lost on the way to church. But like, no, you’re coming with? That’s so cool. And also weird! Despite living in a small and tightly-knit community, we never figured out that we’d be starring on the same reality show!”

2. Betsy and Devon get to the LA pad and pretend that they’ve never seen electronics before. 

“Will you look at these modern contraptions Devon? Also camera man who’s been following us for a long time with a modern contraption called a cam-er-a, look too! Lights! Things turn on! Gee wilikers, this is totally zany. Especially since Rumspringa is a thing that exists in our community and it’s pretty unlikely that I’ve never seen these things before.”

3. Lizzie and Iva concern-troll Betsy within minutes of meeting her.

“Look I love Betsy already, in a friend way of course, but I’m totes worried about her. She looks unwell. Is anyone else worried? You? Great. That means that we’re already setting up a nice little two-versus-one situation in the house among the ladies. Which is an odd thing for me to set up so quickly considering that I’ve never seen a reality show before. But oh well, here goes drama!”

4. Iva speaks in incredibly informative complete sentences during her talking head about seeing a grown man in a speedo.

“We saw a grown man wearing a very tiny outfit today. This made me uncomfortable because I am Amish. Amish people wear many clothes. This man did not wear many clothes. That is why I felt uncomfortable. I am out of place in LA. Will I ever be in place in LA? Watch this season to find out.”

5. No one notices that Lizzie is seven months pregnant.

“This girl Lizzie here is refusing drinks as well as rides on roller coasters. Those are two common things people avoid when they’re pregnant. I wonder why she’s avoiding these things? Ahhh, it’s a mystery that we shall never figure out.”

6. Matthew makes a ten commandments list for the house that completely contradicts his reason for being there.

“I came on this reality show that’s completely against my beliefs and will hypothetically get me in trouble with my family and community for the sole reason of imposing my beliefs on you. This makes very much sense. You are welcome.”

(Photo: Allie is Wired)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    This show is just the Real World with less (see: no) bikinis.

  • Heather Dudley

    So when did these English actors take the time to learn Dutch?

    • Jenni

      When the first season filmed and they saw how easy of a job it would be?

    • Heather Dudley

      How about we go with the more logical explanation. They’re real Amish kids, who live the way Amish kids do… not in total ignorance of the outside world, and there are producers who tell them how to get the most out of the scene. And people at the network who know how to manipulate the truth.

      Learning a language takes longer than a year.

    • Kensie Connor

      not if you’re not actually learning the language. it’d be a script and they’d have a coach.

  • Mala Moragain

    Pennsylvania Dutch is actually a mix of English and Dutch, which makes it a bit easier to pick up. (I took German in HS and I understand more than half od what they are saying, and I took that class ages ago…)

    Another question, any one else ever watch “Amish Mafia”? If so, you may have noticed that Sam from BA:LA is the same guy who on Amish Mafia goes by the name Alvin… He could very well be a Mennonite, which is why they may know the PA Dutch… Just some food for thought…

    • Jenni

      Ooo interesting, I did watch Amish Mafia and Sam did look familiar.

  • CH

    The girls have worn make-up and have had their eyebrows done since the start of the show and the blonde girl had roots (so she already colored her hair). I doubt that someone who is currently living the amish life wears make-up, waxes their eyebrows and colors their hair.

  • Nini

    Sam, Lizzie’s brother, was caught on camera for a documentary on PBS called the American Experience. He wasn’t a participant in this show, nor was he interviewed. They were scanning crowds at a local fair talking about Rumspringa and what happens when the kids go out. Usually PBS doesn’t stage their documentaries with actors so I believe that at the very least Sam isn’t a professional actor. Does that mean I think everything on the show was 100% genuine, not necessarily but I don’t think they used professional actors. It’s more like the Blair Witch Project, it wasn’t scripted line for line, they had a general plot and then went and set up situations to scare the actors to get genuine responses.

  • Gary Newsom

    The explanation is simple.

    They were once Amish, got picked up to star in a reality show…They slip back into their old clothes, pretend they’re still Amish. And play it out.

    Explains the language they all speak (Pennsylvania Dutch)

  • Gary Newsom

    Another big give away is Andrew. He’s quite clearly no longer Amish. All of the characters speak way too American youth than Amish.

    There’s no way these Amish kids naturally swear and speak so modern.

  • Dee OBrien

    Lizzie is the same girl who is in Four Weddings Season 4 Episode 60.