We have a little saying here on the internet that goes a little something like this, “may the nude celebrity photos that accidentally get released today be ever in your clickbait favor!” However this alleged naked Josh Hutcherson photo is not in my favor. Mostly because I’m having all kinds of trouble believing it’s real. It’s not that I think Josh is some kind of nevernude who would never be photographed naked, it’s that I don’t think the circumstances surrounding this photo makes any sense. Unlike the usual “accidental twitpic mupload” or the “I didn’t mean to BCC my entire address book with this extremely flattering photo of myself in the nude,” this story just doesn’t make sense. So let’s begin at the beginning and try to figure out this whole mess together. It’ll be almost as much fun as solving an episode of Law & Order: SVU before it’s over, I promise.
Last night at 11:28 PM, Life of the Rich and Famous posted this exclusive story about a naked Josh Hutcherson photo. After not having posted anything relevant in almost a year — and that’s if you consider a story about Lea Michele shopping on Melrose Place relevant. So I immediately got suspicious. Why would this site have this photo? Seriously, put yourself in the head of someone who just found out that the extremely clean-cut Josh Hutcherson had a naked photo floating around. Where would you go first to sell it? Second? Third? Fourth? Odds are high that LOTRAF wouldn’t even be on your top 700 Sites To Sell To list. Next, check out their Twitter @LOTRAF. There are two tweets and only two tweets, both about this photo.
Now that your sketch-o-meter’s currently going crazy, look at the actual story that accompanies this alleged photo.
A year ago or so, 20-year old Josh Hutcherson was allegedly caught on a online dating site.. under the name, “Connor”. ‘Connor’ was not only sending photos to girl(s) but actual videos of him pleasuring himself to someone who we gladly got a hold of.
Being the sleuth detective that I am, I quickly googled “connor Josh Hutcherson dating profile.” Do you know what comes up? Articles about his little brother, who happens to be named Connor. Why oh why would Josh Hutcherson start sending dirty videos of himself during last year’s Hunger Games frenzy using his littler brother’s name??? He wouldn’t. Even though I don’t know him, I know him in the way all celebrity bloggers know the people they write about on the reg. And from what I know, he’s not the kind of guy who make his online pseudonym Connor. Or even Connor Danger.
So keep all this in mind today as this story starts making the rounds. You can believe what you want, but I think it’s far more likely that there’s a scandalous photo of Peenis floating around than his actual penis. Okay fine, maybe it’s not more likely. But it’s definitely higher on my list of things I’d like to see.
UPDATE: Life of the Rich and Famous have responded to us via Twitter. Which means I need to take back what I said about them only having two tweets — they now have 9 tweets and 7 of them are about us! Also it’s their last day on the Internet. Sad face. And most importantly, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR TWEETS?