5 Important Facts I Learned About One Direction From Reading One Direction Erotica

One Direction Thrusting Concert

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So you like One Direction? Cool, me too. There’s no shame admitting that you enjoy listening to incredibly pop-y music sung by five young lads who’s collective age doesn’t equal yours. In fact, I’m proud to say that I know all their names: Harry StylesLiam PayneZayn MalikLouis Tomlinson and Niall Horan. Tell you what, I even know how to pronounce Niall. It’s not Neal guys, don’t listen to what people tell you. Nye-al.

As an internet worker and a 1D fan, I spend a lot of time looking for gifs of them on tumblr. And one day, one fateful day, I stumbled over something better than gifs. Better than allllll the gifs in the world combined. I found erotic One Direction fan fiction. It’s amazing, so, so amazing. I would go as far as to say that it’s life changing. I’m now looking at sex from a whole new angle — several new angles if these boys are as flexible as their fans believe them to be.

While you might skim over these passages and sigh in disgust — don’t. Almost every single one I read involved the lads pleasing the ladies and satisfying the ladies and going down on the ladies. Say what you will about teen fans these days being out of control, but at least they know that sexual relationships are supposed to go both ways. While I don’t recall ever coming across Backstreet Boys fan fiction on Xanga in the late ’90s, I have a bad feeling that it would be a little more about getting the guys off — and a lot less about the ladies. Then again 1997 did herald in the era of girl power, so perhaps I’m wrong.

Now before you begin reading, bear in mind, some of these excerpts might make you uncomfortable. Or they might turn you on. I’m a blogger, not a mind reader — so I apologize in advance for how your body responds. But I don’t apologize for how much you’re going to learn. So let’s get to it!

Liam Payne Dancing Best Song Ever

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1. Liam prefers to move around when he’s having sex. Bed, floor, bed, floor, ceiling, where are we?, bed, floor. And throughout all that moving about, he’s still all about you. Sure you can’t walk in the morning, but legs are for people having dry spells.

“But like liam seems like when he would fuck you he’d fuck good. Like to where you can’t walk in the morning. And that when he goes down on you his hands would touch all over your body and he wouldn’t stop until your completely satisfied. He seems like he’d fuck you on the floor and then the bed n when hes ramming into you he would make you yell…”

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Harry Styles concert black and white

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2. Harry’s penis can jump. Which means it can probably do sorts of other tricks too. Have you ever seen a penis juggle? I haven’t, but it would be neat.

“Ohhh”, he said, putting his hand on my boob. I quickly kicked off his swimming trunks with my feet and his penis jumped out. Then Harry put me down on the floor and hovered over me. The first thing he did was put his face at level with my stomach and put his tongue below my belly button. Then he slowly began to lick his way up, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel myself getting wetter by the minute and Harry was licking painfully slow. When he got to my neck he stayed there a while before coming back to my face and kissing my lips. “Mmmm, Har..rry..”, I moaned, grabbing his hair and holding on to it as Harry made his way down again.

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Louis Tomlinson eating

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3. Louis likes to play games and food. And really who doesn’t? I’m always down for an impromptu round of cops and robbers and cookies. Or parcheesi. Have ya’ll ever played sex parcheesi. It’s like the best. Throw in some whipped cream and you’re in Heaven.

“I’m going to cuff you to the bed and play with you for a bit, okay?” Lou asked. You nodded, then he took your wrist and locked them into the cuffs. He walked out of the room and you panicked, pulling against the cuffs. ‘Where did he go?’ You thought. You calmed down when he walked back into the room with a can of whip cream and a bottle of chocolate syrup.
“Lou, what are you doing with that?” You asked him, as he came closer. “I’m a bit hungry, love”. He grinned as he sat on the bed. He took the can of whip cream and began spraying it on you He sprayed two circles on your breast and trailed it down your stomach going as far as your southern area. You shivered from the coldness. He then took the chocolate sauce and poured it on you messily. When he was done he looked at his creation then smirked. He lowered his head to your breast and began licking. He licked around your nipples then sucked the rest of it off. You moaned at the feeling and arched your back up. He then followed the trail down your stomach, dipping his tongue into your naval. When he got lower your stomach clenched and he began teasing you. He stopped at your hips and wouldn’t go further.

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Niall Horan dancing one direction

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4. Niall gives soft kisses. And that doesn’t surprise me. He’s always seemed like the gentle sort. Also I like that he gives massages. I think that’s sweet and endearing and oh Nye-al!

He started kissing your lips and asked for entrance by biting your bottom lip. His tongue explored your mouth and he massaged yours. A moan escaped from your lips and he pulled your shirt up. You helped him take off his shirt and his boxers as he took of your shorts and panties. He started sucking your neck and you tried to take his length in your hand but he stopped you. “I need you now” he said and grabbed your hips lifting you a bit up. You lowered yourself down with a long moan. You started rocking your hips and bobbing fast on Niall. He cupped your breasts and started massaging them. You moaned and he kissed your lips. “Lani I’m close” he said moaning and you rocked your hips faster. After a few seconds you were full of his hot cum. You rested your forehead on his, his member still inside you and he kissed you softly.

 

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Zayn Malik flower in his mouth

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5. Zayn is in it to win it. There’s no messing around with this guy. He’s all business when it comes to making you, well, cum. It’s not every guy who can make you arch ‘n gasp ‘n whimper in one fell swoop.

“you like it?’ he giggled and i noded my head and kissed him roughly. he pined me against the bed, and as he started to kiss his way down my body, the sound of his sloppy kisses filling the room, my back arched and i felt dripping to my panties. i moaned as he reacher my pussy, and i grabed a handfull of his hair after he had pulled off my panties. i looked down at him, and he started kissing my clit, playing with it, and my back emediately arched, my legs started feeling like jelly, and i threw my head back, my eyes rolling back. he hummed by my sudden reaction and i gasped. he slid one finger in me, and i whimpered.

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