• Thu, Jul 25 2013

Ashton Kutcher Accidentally Fired People As Steve Jobs, Yet Failed To Improve On iPad

Ashton Kutcher on Tonight Show with Jay Leno promoting Jobs July 2013Good morning! Happy Thursday! This is your weekly reminder that Ashton Kutcher is kind of a tool bag! Sorry we’ve been kind of negligent about keeping this on a weekly basis, lately, but we figured that that weird, unfunny brown-face dating ad parody that he did last year for PopChips would do our job for us for a little while. But then he started dating Mila Kunis, and one of the modern world’s most adorable relationships blossomed and bloomed and it brought his image all the way back to a neutral equilibrium.

But this stasis wasn’t to last, as Ashton was back to his old tool-baggin’ tricks in no time. He went on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno last night to promote his upcoming film Jobs, in which he plays the late Steve Jobs. Except that Ashton and Jay start the interview by reminding/informing the audience that Ashton is really terrible at impressions. And also voices. And also — you know what, why not just save ourselves some time and just say acting in general?

And in case you don’t believe them, they have a video clip to prove it, of Ashton’s hosting stint on Saturday Night Live when he attempted to play Mel Gibson on The View. It’s a terrible impression, but it does give Jay the opportunity to say his only really funny line of the night — “You had the look! If you hadn’t said anything, I think you would’ve been fine.” Which is exactly the kind of feedback an actor should be aiming for right before their biopic comes out, if you ask me. “Congratulations on all the parts that were out of control, like your makeup, your wig, and your costume. Obviously the actual acting sucked, but that’s really outside your control, y’know?”

So then Ashton basically goes on to describe what is essentially…how an actor prepares for a role when that actor has an inability to actually act, right? I mean, I don’t think I’m crazy, I’m pretty sure he’s actually saying that. He couldn’t figure out how to get Steve’s voice or mannerisms so he just…went on an hour-long hike a day to figure out how he walked, and tried to be angrier than normal and actually fire people he didn’t get along with on-set. Which is pretty optimistically method behavior from a guy who consistently plays characters with lines like, “Dude, where’s my car?”, don’t you think? I think.

Especially because he uses the word ‘accidentally’ to describe his behavior. Like…I accidentally fired some people. I was trying to just act all regular and talk about iMacs and stuff and the next thing I knew, I was removing people from their jobs! Isn’t that silly? This acting stuff is hard! You have to be like other people but still be in control of yourself and your actions? WOWEE! I don’t know how that Zac Efron kid does it! Talk about a living legend.

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