Yo, check your watch and tell me what time it is. Just kidding, put your hand away, I already know. It’s Blake Lively Baby Watch Time! It’s a fun and exciting time that comes in every female celebrity’s life on the first day that she’s spotted without a completely flat and toned stomach. It’s the Bat Mitzvah of the A-list, the debutante ball of Hollywood, the Quinceanera of the stars. So congrats Blake, you did it! You got examined by a bunch of completely unqualified people who don’t even have a primary physician, let alone the ability to diagnose like one.
Now there’s always the chance that she really is pregnant. She and Ryan Reynolds have both expressed their desire to have a TLC-reality-show amount of children. She’s not getting any younger, so it’s not completely wacky to think she’d get started on that plan now. However Ryan Reynolds has also non-verbally stated his desire to keep marrying and then divorcing young blonde women on the cusp of fame until there’s at least a 40-year age gap between them. So that definitely puts a wrench in his plans.
But before we worry too much about R.R’s abilty to court Elle Fanning in a few years, let’s take a look at why we’re setting off the prego alarms. As always, Hollywood Life has all the allegations.
“It’s pretty obvious Blake is expecting a baby. We’re convinced she’s just waiting to pass the first trimester before she makes an official announcement,” an insider tells OK magazine. “Blake’s usually a size 2 or 4 and loves to show off her body in fitted clothes, but now she is going for looser, more draped fits.”
While I don’t want to press “confirm purchase” on my Baby Gap order yet, this insider seems pretty confident in this being the real thing. So confident that she decided not to use her real name. Because once you state who you are and how you know a person, you lose all credibility. It just grows a set of wings and flies right out the window. So there’s that. There’s also the fact that she’s wearing drapes. I know, I know, it says “draped fits,” but I originally read it as drapes and I prefer that image much more.
“Blake, over here, look into my camera, who dressed you tonight?”
“Oh this old curtain, it’s something I got at Bed, Bath and Beyond ages ago and just found in the back of my closet. Sometimes, nothing makes you feel as sexy as a cozy drape.”
So there you have it folks. She’s either pregnant or she’s bloated. Either way, do you think drapes will be in this fall???
(Photo: Alberto Reyes/WENN.com)