Remember that time Aladdin wanted to show Princess Jasmine a whole new world and he had to buy a very expensive limited edition Ikea magic carpet to make that happen? Yeah, that’s basically what Kanye West is going to be forced to do for North West if the paparazzi don’t back off soon. He loves his daughter a lot, like not as much as he loves himself, but close! And according to Hollywood Life, he’s ready to unlock the tower doors and let her run free. It’s just that, well, the paparazzi are kinda outta control right now. That’s why he had to go all psycho ninja on them this past weekend.
“He wants to be outside with his little girl, not just in some house or in the backyard of a mansion behind gates,” a source close to the 36-year-old “Jesus Walks” singer tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “He wants her to see the world, put her in a stroller and walk around with her. But he can’t. The cameras will be all over him, depriving him of these precious moments he could be having with his daughter.”
While I rarely come running to Kanye’s defense, I know where he’s coming from this time. The paparazzi are slightly obsessed with his new little family at the moment and they are probably at the point where they’ll pull a Baby’s Day Out just to get that first photo of North. On one hand, that’s a very scary thought. On the other hand, it’s still probably safer than letting her go on Kris Jenner’s talk show. On the third hand, how did Baby Bink keep outsmarting two grown adult criminals? There are way too many plot holes in that movie for me to take it seriously now that I’m older.
Sadly for Kanye, reproducing with a Kardashian sealed his fatherly fate nine months ago. If Kim and ‘Ye want to raise North in L.A, this will be their lives. Sure paps will back off a bit after the first photos come out, but she’ll still always be a baby of interest. (Which is probably going to a CBS spin-off to Person of Interest.) If they are really worried about their daughter’s safety, they need to move. Preferably somewhere remote. Otherwise they’ll be forced to keep North locked up in that tower until her 18th birthday. At which point, Kris Jenner will trick her into letting down her golden hair, kidnap her and force her to sign a reality TV show contract. That’s just the way it works when you grow up out there.