Many moons ago, in a land far far away, Aubrey Plaza ran into Ryan Gosling at a juice bar and blew him off. Just straight up acted like she didn’t know who he was or how he knew her or why he was complimenting her. When she told the story years ago, she acted totally nonchalant about the whole thing. As if it wasn’t the biggest mistake that she could possibly make… I mean, we’re talking about Ryan Gosling here. He starred in The Notebook, a documentary about a man so desperate to escape his social constraints that grows an unruly beard.
If Zeus and Jesus had a child together, it would be lucky to even schedule a play date with him. He is the best thing that we have going for us. And obviously when I say we, I’m referring to humans. Seriously, if you don’t sit down at your home altar every day and thank your lucky stars that he’s here with us, you are worthless. Like take yourself to a local Coinstar, throw yourself into the machine and prepare to see a big fat zero pop up on the screen. (Or not, I’m not entirely sure how those machines work. Can you fit a human being inside?)
Luckily for Aubrey Plaza’s karma and eternal salvation, she finally admitted the error of her ways in an interview with The Daily Beast about her upcoming movie, The To-Do List.
I also heard a rumor that Ryan Gosling asked you out on a date, and you turned him down.
Oh, that’s not really true. [Laughs] That got turned into a different thing. He came up to me at a juice bar and complimented me, and I didn’t recognize him and had the most awkward conversation with him where I kept being like, “We know each other, right?” “We’ve worked together, haven’t we?” “You look so familiar …” And I didn’t know it was him. It was just so humiliating for me—not for him.
See what Aubrey did there? She didn’t go full apology on us, but she got pretty damn close. It takes a lot to use the h-word in an interview. Especially for someone as chill and as laidback and as whateverrrr as Aubrey. But she did it! While I don’t think this gets her back on the express bus to Heaven, it certainly gets her a seat on the local. Sure it took her a few years to get to this point, but she did it. And now I don’t feel guilty about seeing The To-Do List in theaters.
(Photo: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com)