Good afternoon, little royal babies! I see you’ve all come into the world without incident, and your arrival has been heralded by an easel out in front of Buckingham Palace, as is customary. I hope you found the tea and crumpets to your liking! I know traditionally, American babies only drink milk from a teat until they’re weaned, but you British babes are made from a sterner stuff. Cut from a different cloth, if you will. A nice sturdy burlap. The first day, you take it easy with shepherd’s pie, and by the second day you’re sucking down tankards of ale and fish and chips.
But you made it to the end of your first day! And not a moment too soon, because you were just about to challenge Jessica Simpson for the world record on longest gestational period. She’s the current champion, lasting two days longer than the African elephant, at twenty-one and one third months. Anyway, it was an impressive pregnancy, but you’re here now, and you deserve a laugh, so sit down and prop up your wobbly baby neck and enjoy this video.