• Mon, Jul 22 - 6:16 am ET

The Royal Baby Is En Route — This Is Not A Drill

Kate Middleton at submarine base April 2013After three weeks of endless waiting and false alarms, I hope you picked today in your office betting pool, because the Royal Baby is officially on its way into the worldKate Middleton (or Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, as we’re apparently supposed to call her anytime something fancy happens) and Prince William traveled to the Lindo Wing at St. Mary’s hospital at 7:37am local time for Kate to begin the labor process. (Which, if I may point out, was 2:37am New York time, and I’ve never been more glad I use silent alerts for CNN.)

Interestingly enough, they went by car, because these are heirs to the British throne we’re talking about, and they can’t go riding about in just any flashing medicine car that we Yanks call ‘ambulances’. There’s too much on the line, y’know? Gotta take a nice reliable car and chat casually about crumpets and try to pretend their isn’t a human head pressing against your pain organs. Is that too much to ask?

The progress report was issued by Kensington Palace about ninety minutes after the Duke and Duchess left, presumably so they could get a head start on all those hungry hungry paparazzi, and here we find ourselves. Waiting. Like peasants. I hate this part. Because royal though this baby might be, I’m getting word that he or she does still need to go through the whole unromantic delivery process, so we’ll be keeping you updated with this story as it develops. (I’ve always wanted to say that.)

Oh and yes, you read that right — we still don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, so now would be the perfect time to get that office pool going as well. I’m putting my money on a daughter named North West. That name is totally stuck in my head, for some reason.

(Image: WENN.com)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    I wonder if she went into labor as gracefully as she does everything else. “Oh, dear. I do believe the baby is arriving. Ring mum and dad, would you?”

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I’d give anything to know the proper British way to say ‘my water just broke’.

  • Bad Dad

    Well, when you were nudging to enter the world, your ride was in a Subaru! And there was ALMOST much flashing of light when a nice police officer detained us briefly in our driveway – thinking he was observing a slightly frantic man and an enormously pregnant woman breaking into said Subaru! After a few “royal” words from your mother, the officer let us go but did not offer to escort us to the hospital – so we missed that chance to race through town with lights flashing. I don’t recall if crumpets were discussed, but I assure you the ride was quiet, elegant and stately.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahahahaha this is amazing.