As if I needed any more convincing that Justin Bieber is an idiot, now there’s further proof in the new video for Selena Gomez‘s single ‘Slow Down’. No, she doesn’t talk about him in it or use one of his voicemails in a song, unfortunately — this time it’s just a normal Selena song with decent chorus, unremarkable vocals, and a reasonably danceable beat. But all that said, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS SHE’S SO ATTRACTIVE.
I get that Bieber is a dumb nineteen-year old bumbling around the world, abs bared to the cold cruel sun, but even still, aren’t their brains supposed to be triggered by outward stimuli? Aren’t things like XBox, boobs, fart jokes, pretty girls, and cans of beers supposed to break through their reverie? That’s my recollection from college, anyway.
So if all that is true, how does Justin keep letting Jelena shatter into pieces onto the floor? It’s bad enough that he’s not paying her to babysit, but this guy should be holding onto Selena with both hands as far as I’m concerned. But instead, he keeps dicking around and refusing to get his act together, which in turn leaves their relationship off-and-on. You gotta pull it together, cause just look at this girl!
HOWEVER. I will say, as someone who grew up on the videos of a young lady by the name of Britney Spears, you’re gonna have to get your hits a little tighter. You’re a pretty girl, Selena, and you dance like one. You gotta put your back into it!
Selena’s album comes out July 23rd, which is a whole four days from now, leaving plenty of time for these two crazy kids to break up and get back together at least twice more.