• Thu, Jul 18 2013

Suri Cruise Either Definitely Did Or Definitely Did Not Give The Paparazzi The Middle Finger

Suri Cruise Katie Holmes NYC

Suri Cruise, our new favorite sassbot, got caught subtly giving the paps the middle finger for trying to take a photo of her. Or did she? Despite the fact that the photo clearly shows the 7-year-old lifting her middle finger, it appears is that all is not as it seems. Follow me to the next paragraph as we find out what really went down when Suri’s finger went up.

An in-depth investigation from our good detective friends at Eonline.com reveal that the child might not have actually meant to damn the paparazzo to hell when she made that graphic, graphic gesture with her middle finger. In fact, she might not have even been aware that her middle finger stood upright at the exact moment when an adult was snapping photos of her going about her daily routine. Ongoing investigations are pointing toward that being the case.

But while Suri was playing with her hair, an untimely snap occurred, making it appear as if the 7-year-old was giving the paparazzi the middle finger.

Yes, you read that right. She was just playing with her hair when someone snapped the photo.

Or was she?

I know, this story has more twists and turns than all the of the 2012 Olympic Gymnastic teams’ routines combined. But please, bear with me as get to the bottom of this.

Could this small child be playing us with her hair play? Recent episode of 20/20 reruns tell me that this could be the case. After all, this is the same child who got called a brat and a bitch by the paparazzi last week. It’s an undeniable fact that she’s (allegedly) currently looking to get her revenge. But like Emily Thorne, she won’t just come right out and get it. Instead she’ll plot and she’ll scheme and she’ll wait until she looks especially innocent before “playing with her hair.”

Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, maybe I should find an occupation that doesn’t involve me analyzing photos of small celebrity people. But all the maybes in the world don’t change the fact that Suri Cruise definitely did or definitely did not give the paparazzi the middle finger.

(Photo: Mr. Blue/WENN.com)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    I say it’s totally a middle finger, but that’s only because that’s what 7-year-old me what’ve done. I’m projecting.