Listen that’s real cool and all, and I’m gonna let you finish, but Gawker just released a leaked tape of what they believe to be Kanye West ranting about Taylor Swift, and I’m gonna go ahead and spend the rest of the day doing an excitement jig around the office because this is the best. thing. ever.
The tape was allegedly secretly recorded on the evening of September 13th, 2009, which, as you may recall, was the night of the MTV Video Music Awards when Kanye so gracefully took the mic from Taylor during her acceptance speech for Best Female Video and politely informed the audience that Beyonce should’ve won instead. Because her video for ‘Single Ladies’ was the best video of all time. OF ALL TIME. Which was proven later on that night when it won the top award for ‘Video Of The Year’. Patience, Kanye…patience.
But anyway, it was a big kerfuffle, with Kanye apologizing in varying forms over a matter of months, doing everything from posting odd tweets to crying in an interview with Jay Leno when Jay asked if he thought his late mother would be proud of him. It was the media’s favorite thing for a while, with a ton of memes, and parodies popping up, but eventually it ran its course.
UNTIL TODAY. This leaked audio was allegedly recorded at the Corner Bistro in New York’s West Village, and here it is, transposed by the good folk over at Gawker. You guys are doing god’s work. I’m not even kidding.
I’d rather just let the [inaudible] speak for itself. You know, it’s like, I was happy to be in a situation where people couldn’t say, oh, I was trying to promote my own song. For the times that I’ve, like, defended myself… [Tape break] I’m pushing the envelope! I wrote my fuckin’ ‘Run This Town’ verse for a fuckin’ month! When I heard Eminem’s verse on the Drake shit, I went back and rewrote my shit for two days. I canceled appointments to rewrite! I fuckin’ care! You know what I’m saying? And that’s what I’m saying. Because I did that, Taylor Swift cannot win over Beyoncé! Because I wrote my verse in two days, Taylor Swift cannot beat Beyoncé. As long as I’m alive! And if I’m alive, kill me then! Kill me then! As long as I’m alive, you gon’ have to deal with it. ‘Cause there ain’t gonna be no more motherfucking Elvises with no James Browns.
[A female voice asks, "Why are you so angry? What's the anger?"] Because my mother got arrested for the fuckin’ sit-ins. My mother died for this fame shit! I moved to fuckin’ Hollywood chasing this shit. My mother died because of this shit. Fuck MTV.
It ain’t no love. What the fuck was Pink performing? Don’t nobody know that song. Pink performed twice! Two songs? How the fuck Pink perform two songs and I didn’t even get asked to perform “Heartless.” “Heartless” is the biggest song of the year! It had the most spins of the first quarter! I don’t know that Pink song! But I noticed that she’s pink! They put me in a fuckin’ room and [inaudible - maybe "projected it"].
[A male voice asks, "How the fuck did Eminem get the Best Hip-Hop song in 2008?"] Eminem won Best Video! Rap Video! Yo, when he wont that shit, I was so happy. I was so happy I [unclear - "ran all this shit," maybe]. I said, “Nigga, I’m gon’ do this until y’all put a bullet in my head. I’m runnin’ up to y’all, put a…” [tape cuts].
Basically the gist of it is that Kanye — if it is in fact him — is super not sorry for partying, brahs. Not only does he dislike Taylor’s music, but he gets P!nk involved, too. He’s on his old message of being offended at not being asked to perform, and that and his now-familiar style of rant make me think that this really is him. Thank you, internet, for blessing me with this gem today. I needed it.
(Image: Andres Otero / WENN.com)