During last night’s episode of Chelsea Lately, Jason Biggs announced that he put a baby inside his wife, Jenny Mollen. So fear not when you see her starting to gain weight this fall. It’s just a baby bump. Sure she might flaunt it, but it’s something that’s socially acceptable to flaunt. In fact, I’d so baby bumps and revenge cleavage are the two most flauntable things on Hollywood red carpets these days. But don’t quote me on that, I’m just a girl who’s still dabbling in flaunting some lite underboob myself.
As excited as I am for Jase and Jen (and I really am, they’re an awesomely funny couple), I’m more more excited for the 2nd season of Orange is the New Black. Jason Biggs plays a guy named Larry, the main character’s spineless fiance. Watching him in this show made me actually respect him as an actor — no offense, but some offense, to the American Pie trilogy.
I finished watching this week and I’m um, I don’t know, completely obsessed. Not only with the show, but with the incredibly empowering thought that I could survive federal prison. While I have no plans at the moment to commit any crimes, I think the experience would be pretty beneficial. Yoga in the morning, jogging around the track in the afternoon, reading after dinner, bartering some commissary item for a hair cut. It sounds like a tough-love retreat that some women would pay a lot of money to do it if it took place on a ranch out west. Sure there are some negatives to prison, like the fact it’s prison and you’re trapped there and your life’s overseen by a group of men who do a pretty good impersonation of a sociopath — but still, you’d get a great essay out of the experience. Why a blog might even publish the essay and pay me. In a Tweet that includes my Twitter handle. Hey, a girl can dream.
If you haven’t started watching this amazing new Netflix series, please start today. It’s one of the most entertaining shows that I’ve seen in a long time and it’s my current obsession. Also I need to talk to someone about the season finale and all my friends, including our very own Alexis, is taking forever to finish watching it.