Yeah, I’m About To Compare Emma Roberts To Chris Brown

Emma Roberts and Evan Peters at Coachella April 2013The news of Emma Roberts‘ alleged domestic violence against her boyfriend Evan Peters dropped yesterday, so I’d say it’s just about time for someone or a couple someones to start downplaying what really happened, right? Like a rep or something? Or a ‘source close to the actress’? Do we have anybody like that who can underscore what a non-issue violence is in our society? Oh we do? Great. Here’s what reps for the two actors had to say, in a released statement:

“It was an unfortunate incident and misunderstanding. Ms. Roberts was released after questioning and the couple are working together to move past it.”

Oh good, as long as they’re definitely gonna move past it. When something like this happens, the important thing is to work through it and keep the relationship chugging in the same direction, you know? The absolute worst thing would be to take genuine steps to address the boundaries that had broken down in their relationship. It’s not like this has anything in common with assault, so let’s just sweep it under the rug and forgive the parties involved, okay? And post-haste, just so we can avoid any inconvenient or awkward conversations about abuse or any other real issues.

According to a friend, Emma is ‘very dramatic’ and frequently gets ‘wound up’, but that the incident on July 7th got ‘way out of control’. See, these are all really great words and phrases to use to describe an attack by one human being on another human being. Remember how well this went after Chris Brown attacked Rihanna? As someone who saw the photo of that assault attempted murder’s aftermath, I think it’s safe to say that Emma’s alleged attack on Evan was not as extreme, but the root cause was the same, and they’re being similarly downplayed.

“They’re a couple young kids. Their romance is pretty extreme. They just behave in a way that’s very passionate.”

Nope. Nope nope nope, absolutely not. Absolutely it is not acceptable to describe the incident in that way. Evan is reported to have had a bloody nose and bite marks. I don’t care how old they are, or how ‘extreme’ their romance is — that’s not passion, that’s violence, and to describe it otherwise is irresponsible.

“They will not break up. When they are good, they are crazy in love.”

Ah yes. ‘Crazy in love’. A useful turn of phrase that excuses all manner of transgressions like bodily harm, abuse, and violence. As if loving someone excuses your mistreatment of them. What an excellent precedent to set, especially in light of the fame of these two and the fact that young kids look to them as an example. I’m so glad we’ve used this opportunity to minimize violence instead of to enact positive change in the way we discuss violent outbursts! What a relief!

But seriously. I feel like the current assumption in the media and elsewhere is that if two people are young enough and in love enough, sometimes their passion for each other is so overwhelming that it escalates to violence, and that’s okay! It’s how we excused and explained what happened between Chris and Rihanna, and I see the same tell-tale signs that we’re gonna use it to explain away Emma and Evan, too.

Except it’s not okay at all, guys. Ever. For any reason. It doesn’t matter if the man attacks the woman or if the woman attacks the man, or if its a same-sex relationship, or if both parties attack each other — it’s not acceptable and it never will be. If you’re ever in a relationship that becomes violent, that is the end of the relationship. Period. If it happened once, it can and will happen again, and no matter how good things are when it’s not happening, trust has been violated and boundaries have been crossed and laws have been broken. And no amount of intimacy or apologies can change that.

But thank god we’re not talking about that, right? Ugh, that would be so uncomfortable.

(Image: STS /

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    • Stacey Judith

      Some people can really surprise you.. It just goes to say you can’t really judge anyone by their “look”

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Absolutely. Good point.

    • Rachel

      Definitely agree! I just mentioned to a friend that (not excusing what chris brown did) its interesting how she can attack and bite her boyfriend and I read comments like “hope thy can move past it” & its “just a misunderstanding” but chris brown does worse and its still a big subject. Passionate or not domestic violence against a guy isn’t any different! Yes Brown did worse but abuse is abuse. I’m sure this wont effect her (career) much though.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        It’s a total double standard. So gross.

      • kbe

        Yes, because anything women suffer is by default “worse”. Why is it, when ever women talk about any kind of problem men have, form medical to domestic violence, women always have to add the modifier “women still have it worse”?

    • MCR

      Thanks so much for this.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        My pleasure!

    • whiteroses

      Personally, the fact that Chris Brown still has a career makes me ill. And the idea that Emma Roberts gets a free pass? No. No, no, no.

      *Adds another name to the actor boycott list*.

      • Alexis Rhiannon


    • Christopher Maurice

      What does this have to with Chris. Get all the way off his ballz you dick hungry cunt. And FUCK a Rihanna!!! That bitch uses him all the time! She is nothing but a slut and attention whore and she cant sing for shit! And she is a really mean person so the fact she gor beat up is nothing but karma. Fuck that bitch!!!!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Thanks for reading!!!

      • Karen

        What the hell is wrong with people?

      • kbe

        You could of said it simply : Rihanna is a primary abuser, and Chris Brown has anger issues and needs to be taught how to spot abusive women*.

        * that still doesn’t excuse his reaction to Rihanna’s abuse. Over 70% of the abuse women suffer from could be ended, if boy’s, young men and men where taught how to spot abusive women, as women initiate Domestic abuse 70% of the time they themselves are “victims” of domestic abuse.

      • Jenni

        Please tell me you’re a bot.

        *that still doesn’t excuse your reaction to Rihanna’s abuse

    • Fraga123

      She’s an adult female. She can assault a man or molest a boy with little fear of significant criminal punishment in either case.

      She’s part of the legally privileged class in America – white women.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I think we agree.

    • Taylor

      Yes to everything in this article. Brilliant.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Thanks so much!

    • Lauren

      What is worse is the picture of her in tears and he is there consoling her. Where is a picture of Chris Brown crying like a little girl and in the arms of Rihanna? lol But seriously, I wonder what Chris would say about this whole, double standard thing…

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I know. As much as I don’t want to hear his opinion on anything, it is a definite double standard, you’re right.

    • ghebert

      The problem is, Emma is going to get a free pass from society because she’s a woman. While Chris Brown continues to get protested and blacklisted Emma will surely continue to have no similar issues whatsoever. Women are not men’s equals and will never be until they are held to the same level of accountability as men. That’s the problem with having the feminist movement being the only voice on gender issues for several decades now…they claim to want equality but their actions prove what they really want is the same advantages as men without any of the disadvantages. They want rights without responsibility.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I agree with you to a certain extent, but I really don’t think Chris Brown is blacklisted anywhere anymore. He’s been nominated for Grammys, which I think is an unfortunate indication that he’s doing fine. But as I’ve said, I don’t want preferential treatment for males OR females, I just want society to stop acting like it’s okay if ‘passion’ turns into violence.

      • ghebert

        Having done some more research, no he isn’t necessarily blacklisted but he had to cancel a concert in Guyana because of protests and Rogers Communications decided to pull their sponsorship once they learned Chris Brown was part of some concert/festival in Halifax, Canada. I guess my point was you won’t see any protests or movie premieres being cancelled for Emma Roberts. You’re right in saying society needs to stop acting like it’s okay if passion turns into violence…it seems we either make up excuses for women when they do these things or in some cases even encourage them and cheer them on. More people need to be doing what you’re doing…put the ideas out there and discuss.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Thanks for your very thought-provoking feedback! I think we’re in agreement!

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