The news of Emma Roberts‘ alleged domestic violence against her boyfriend Evan Peters dropped yesterday, so I’d say it’s just about time for someone or a couple someones to start downplaying what really happened, right? Like a rep or something? Or a ‘source close to the actress’? Do we have anybody like that who can underscore what a non-issue violence is in our society? Oh we do? Great. Here’s what reps for the two actors had to say, in a released statement:
“It was an unfortunate incident and misunderstanding. Ms. Roberts was released after questioning and the couple are working together to move past it.”
Oh good, as long as they’re definitely gonna move past it. When something like this happens, the important thing is to work through it and keep the relationship chugging in the same direction, you know? The absolute worst thing would be to take genuine steps to address the boundaries that had broken down in their relationship. It’s not like this has anything in common with assault, so let’s just sweep it under the rug and forgive the parties involved, okay? And post-haste, just so we can avoid any inconvenient or awkward conversations about abuse or any other real issues.
According to a friend, Emma is ‘very dramatic’ and frequently gets ‘wound up’, but that the incident on July 7th got ‘way out of control’. See, these are all really great words and phrases to use to describe an attack by one human being on another human being. Remember how well this went after Chris Brown attacked Rihanna? As someone who saw the photo of that
assault attempted murder’s aftermath, I think it’s safe to say that Emma’s alleged attack on Evan was not as extreme, but the root cause was the same, and they’re being similarly downplayed.
“They’re a couple young kids. Their romance is pretty extreme. They just behave in a way that’s very passionate.”
Nope. Nope nope nope, absolutely not. Absolutely it is not acceptable to describe the incident in that way. Evan is reported to have had a bloody nose and bite marks. I don’t care how old they are, or how ‘extreme’ their romance is — that’s not passion, that’s violence, and to describe it otherwise is irresponsible.
“They will not break up. When they are good, they are crazy in love.”
Ah yes. ‘Crazy in love’. A useful turn of phrase that excuses all manner of transgressions like bodily harm, abuse, and violence. As if loving someone excuses your mistreatment of them. What an excellent precedent to set, especially in light of the fame of these two and the fact that young kids look to them as an example. I’m so glad we’ve used this opportunity to minimize violence instead of to enact positive change in the way we discuss violent outbursts! What a relief!
But seriously. I feel like the current assumption in the media and elsewhere is that if two people are young enough and in love enough, sometimes their passion for each other is so overwhelming that it escalates to violence, and that’s okay! It’s how we excused and explained what happened between Chris and Rihanna, and I see the same tell-tale signs that we’re gonna use it to explain away Emma and Evan, too.
Except it’s not okay at all, guys. Ever. For any reason. It doesn’t matter if the man attacks the woman or if the woman attacks the man, or if its a same-sex relationship, or if both parties attack each other — it’s not acceptable and it never will be. If you’re ever in a relationship that becomes violent, that is the end of the relationship. Period. If it happened once, it can and will happen again, and no matter how good things are when it’s not happening, trust has been violated and boundaries have been crossed and laws have been broken. And no amount of intimacy or apologies can change that.
But thank god we’re not talking about that, right? Ugh, that would be so uncomfortable.
(Image: STS / WENN.com)