Do you guys ever have those celebrity daydreams where you imagine casually running into Ryan Gosling at a farmer’s market, his burnished bicep gently grazing your toned…elbow as you both reach for the same heirloom tomato. You meet eyes, chuckle, and then off-handedly you make a comment-cum-question that he’s never heard before. And lo! It’s so insightful and original that he sweeps all the organic, small-batch produce off the reclaimed factory planks and spends the next three hours crouched over your prone body, tenderly smelling your hair and telling you he’s never felt this way before. Do you ever have those daydreams? Because I don’t.
But if I did, one cure for always imagining that would be to inhabit the body of Josh Horowitz, the guy who interviews all the celebrities for MTV. Whereas if I ever met a celebrity, experience has taught me that I’d mutter and grumble and turn roughly the shade of ‘blushing lobster’, Josh is always friendly and personable and hilarious, with unique questions that make the celebrities laugh. I WANT HIS LIFE.
So when he interviewed Ryan for his upcoming movie Only God Forgives, OF COURSE he and Ryan already have a bit about mispronouncing each others’ names. And OF COURSE he gets to call Ryan ‘my friend’ and razz him about being a bad director because he jokingly said he doesn’t know if he accidentally wandered into any takes while he was directing How To Catch A Monster.
I’d love to pretend that this is how my interview with him would go, if anyone was ever foolish enough to put us in a room together (the romantic sparks would be sure to catch and ignite and soon the whole room would be ablaze!), but I think we all know that’s not true. Instead of thinking to ask Ryan for examples of silent acting, like Josh does, I have zero doubt that the first thing out of my mouth would be, “So tell me what a movie…is” and the second thing out of it would be everything I ate for breakfast. So just delight in the fact that I don’t get to interview celebrities and Josh Horowitz does, and go back to our farmer’s market fantasy. I mean your farmer’s market fantasy. Ahem.
Only God Forgives is set in Bangkok, Thailand, and is the story of a drug smuggler (played by Ryan) who is convinced by his mother to avenge the death of his brother. It opens July 19th in theaters.