Listen guys, you can feel free to go to as many Rihanna concerts as you want, just bear in mind that any number of odd things could happen to you, as an audience member. And kind of crazy things, too. Not the well-meaning life advice you get in the front row of a Beyonce concert. At a Rihanna concert, you’re opening yourself up to a spectrum that starts on the low end with getting hit in the face by the singer herself and extends all the way into lap dance territory, with RiRi pulling you up onstage and gyrating on your manjunk. It’s really a crapshoot out there.
One of her new favorite hobbies is showing up incredibly late for her own show, which is a really fun way to punish her most loyal fans for supporting her. Like, I enjoy Rihanna music, but I’m not a big enough fan to ever shell out actual money for a ticket to her concert. And I’m rewarded for that apathy by not being forced to stand around waiting in an overheated stadium while Rihanna takes fifteen more shots, gets a new tattoo on the way to the venue, and finally pours herself out of the car and onto the stage. It’s a nice system she’s set up where she loses herself fans at an impressive rate.
But anyway, she’s been showing up later and later, and at one of her most recent shows, she was so late that the audience actually lashed out at her while she was still onstage. She went on for her Manchester, UK show late, as usual, and during her lackluster performance of ‘Rude Boy’ (fitting), an audience member threw a bag of potato chips up onstage at her, prompting this reaction:
â€śThereâ€™s aÂ good crazy and thereâ€™s a bad crazy. When you throw sh*t up here, thatâ€™s anÂ epic failâ€¦I swear to god, cut that sh*t out. Really, chips? ChipsÂ though?!â€ť
I understand her frustration at stuff being thrown at her while she’s performing, but she should definitely be a little more proactive about getting to the shows as well. Those people have paid good money to see you, and it’s not fair to keep them waiting, no matter how much fun you’re having partying. What I don’t understand, though, is why she’s so specifically upset that they threw potato chips. And what she thinks the difference is between good crazy and bad crazy. I’d love to see an op-ed piece on that, RiRi. Get right on it. Ideally on Twitter, 140 characters at a time.
Also Rihanna, you’re in the UK, baby, so it’s not chips, it’s CRISPS. Get it right.
(Image: Will Alexander / WENN.com)