Making Fun Of Honey Boo Boo Kinda Makes You A Dick

Honey Boo Boo June Shannong Family Vacation 2013


Here Comes Honey Boo Boo returns to our televisions tonight at 9 PM sharp (or sharpish if you’re into mountain time). Already people are decrying the return of this family to TV and declaring it to be a national travesty that they’re given any attention at all. After all, they’re poor and they’re overweight and most offensively of all, they’re happy. There’s nothing that upsets Americans more than people who are happier than us — despite the fact that they’re bigger than us and poorer than us and less educated than us.

As someone who joined in among the masses during the season premiere last year and protested the very existence of this show, I understand where people are coming from when they complain. When you just watch clips of the show, June  Shannon and Honey Boo Boo and Pumpkin and the rest of the gang do seem to promote the pursuit of stupidity. But watch more than just a few clips and you’ll see that there’s a lot more to them than what the internet chooses to highlight. Unlike so many other families who we see profiled on reality TV shows now, they actually all like and support each other. While it’s sad that a supportive family’s now a novelty on TV, it’s the truth. Look at Teresa Giudice and her feud with her family on Real Housewives of New Jersey or any of the conversations between the Kardashians on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and tell me that they’re promoting something other than family drama and scandal. Sure the Thompson clan might not be doing things that you like doing, but they’re happily doing them together. Maybe farts don’t make your family crack up, but can you think of another reality show on television where everyone seems to genuinely enjoy each other’s company?

pretty comes in all different sizes honey boo boo quote


And that’s just the tip of this hidden family values iceberg that we’re about to explore today. While June Shannon definitely makes questionable choices when it comes to raising Alana — like feeding her the infamous gogo juice at pageants — I still think she’s one of the most sane pageant parents out there. Unlike most of the children we see competing on Toddlers & Tiaras, Honey Boo Boo seemed to actually enjoy being there. Performing comes naturally to her and it really does appear to be just another outlet for her to shine. Am I pro pageant? Absolutely not. But am I pro kids doing what makes them happy? Yes. She’s a star and she belong on some kind of stage.

Want to know something else that’s awesome about June? She’s saving all the money she makes from the show in a trust fund for her daughters. According to an article on The Stir, they can’t access it before they’re 21 unless it’s for a medical emergency or for schooling. Yeah, that’s right. Rather than turning into Dina Lohan and riding on the coattails of Honey Boo Boo’s success, June Shannon’s putting the money away for her kids. More ways that June’s keeping her famous children grounded? She’s encouraging them to give back to the less fortunate. During last year’s holiday season, they used their newfound fame to donate a ton of toys to a local Georgia charity. Teaching children to give back at a young age doesn’t really seem like the start of the apocalypse to me. But if you’re anti-charity, by all means keeping hating on the family.

Need more evidence that they’re positive role models for us? Okay, let’s talk about Sugar Bear. While Honey Boo Boo’s his only biological child with June, he treats all the girls likes his daughters. That’s a big thing. For their family and for the girls. As someone who comes from a divorced family, I know how important it is for people who come into the family to treat everyone equally. It goes a long way toward raising well-adjusted adults who are functioning members of society. He could’ve easily treated them like step-children, but instead he embraced them as his own. In fact, it was his fast bond with her entire family that made it so easy for June to fall in love with him.

Everybody's a little bit gay (via)

Feeling a little bit better about this family now? Maybe you’re ready to touch on one of the biggest moments of last season then. The moment when Honey Boo Boo casually mentioned “everyone’s a little bit gay.” While I doubt she’s read up on the Kinsey Scale lately, that’s an awesome attitude for a kid to have. At the end of last season, we learned a little bit about her Uncle Poodle –  a proud redneck who also happens to be gay. For many supposedly liberal people out there, it came as quite the shock that someone can be gay and also be a redneck. But surprise, it is possible! Turns out that we’re all a little bit ignorant comes it comes to actually understanding other people. Ironically enough, we’re the ones who might need a lesson on tolerance and being open-minded toward people who are different than us.

If you’re still not convinced that this family’s not the worst thing to ever happen to our country, remember that Honey Boo Boo is 7-years-old. (Also that her real name is Alana Thompson and she is a real live person.) So even if you don’t agree with anything I’ve written above, it’s important to remember that she’s a child. So making fun of her weight and the way she speaks and um, anything that at all relates to her makes you a huge dick. So keep that in mind when the show premieres tonight and you’re tempted to say something witty — she’s a little kid and she doesn’t deserve to be insulted by grown adults.

Share This Post:
    • Samantha_Escobar

      I know I keep saying it, but I love this article so much.

    • rg

      I think it is sick that this child is allowed to be emotionally abused by her dysfunctional family. It is disgusting and sick. Hopefully protective services will look into this home. rg

      • CMJ

        Um? That’s what you got out of this article?

      • Jenni

        What I like most about your comment is that you in no way read the article or opted to respond to it.

      • abbeysbooks


      • Samantha_Escobar

        My favorite is that they signed their name because that is exactly why we have a place to enter your name when you leave a comment.

    • Jessieface

      THIS!!!!! THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!! Lawd have mercy on anyone who decides to declare this family anything negative in my presence. They 9 times out of 10 leave the convo with their tail between thier legs. Their biggest (and only) crime is being fat and socially uncouth. You, Jenni, are a true American Hero in my eyes.

      • Jenni

        I tell myself that every morning, but it’s certainly nice to hear it from someone else.

      • Chris

        you’re not an American hero. You’re an American fucking idiot. Fuck this family, and fuck anyone that doesn’t realize this show is the epitome of fat fucking Americans wasting their lives accepting themselves as worthless pieces of shit. Fuck you and fuck this show. Fuckers.

    • Annie

      I feel like the only problem with this show is the age of its star. To be ‘on’ all the time is stressful enough on grownups, but she’s at the age where she’s developing things like personal space, the idea of privacy, appropriateness, that sorta thing.

      I’d be okay if they came in once a month for a weekend and recorded stuff, that’s cool, but eh.

    • Amber

      They seem like nice people but I feel sorry for them. It’s obvious that June never had much of a chance and now she’s raising kids who don’t have many opportunities either. I wish they’d spend the money they pump into pageants on education for those kids.

      They seem so kind and loving and caring. They could do a lot of good with a little education. It’s sad that they don’t have any.

      • Jenni

        That’s the thing, I don’t think you need to feel sorry for them. They appear to be pretty happy with their lives.

      • Amber

        Yet I still do. I always feel sad when I see potential wasted.

        I never said they wanted or needed my pity. I do think they’d be even happier if they had the skills and resources to help even more people than they do. They seem to truly enjoy helping others.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        It seems like your whole point though was that they didn’t HAVE potential. Like Mama June never got a chance and now she’s raising her kids the same way.

        But it seems to me like she rose out of that and made her family some potential, and I, for one, am impressed by that type of initiative.

    • Danielle P

      I don’t hate the show because they are fat, poor or whatever, I hate it because our country loves these mindless shows and people could care less about having a job, the economy, their health, or their futures…

      • Jenni

        I don’t think those two things are always mutually exclusive.

      • Danielle P

        That’s the sad part.

      • TriannaLi

        I don’t get what you’re saying here. She’s responding to your statement by saying that you can ‘love these mindless shows’ aaaaand care about having a job, the economy etc. If so, nothing to be sad about.

    • A-nony-mous

      I don’t really dislike the show but I can’t understand it’s appeal either. I watched two episodes and then it was ‘Ok, I see what they’re doing there’ and I haven’t watched since. If you’ve seen one episode you’ve pretty much seen every episode. I can’t quite imagine giving up hours and hours and hours of my life to it since every episode really is the same.

    • Copperkroewe

      I like the article but am wondering if you are referencing Alfred Kinseys Kinsey scale?? If so you should do a little research on what sort of monster pedophile that “scientist” was. Check out

    • TriannaLi

      Well…damn. I clicked on this post ready to disagree, but you really made a strong, reasoned case here. All right, you’ve convinced me to give the show a try before I disapprove.

    • Rachel Sea

      I’ve only seen one episode, and I hated it. Not because I have any problem with the family, but because the show seems edited so that America can laugh at them, not with them. I thought it was just plain mean.

      I hope they are laughing all the way to the bank, and I hope the money gives the girls the opportunity to become better educated than their parents (soda on an infant’s pacifier? ugh!).

    • Eileen

      I think that this is the conclusion that most non-elitist-classist-snobs come to after actually watching an episode or two.

      I don’t particularly like the show, because, well, I don’t like that kind of reality show (just the competitions for me, please). But the family seem like decent people. Their lifestyle doesn’t have to be yours. I didn’t compete in pageants, went to college, have made it to 24 without getting pregnant, and can’t imagine calling my father Sugar Bear – but so what if they do? Plenty of the things I do with my life might seem like ridiculous social pretensions as well. This is a family that loves and supports each other, is financially independent, and seems to be happy. That’s all anyone really wants.

      • Beth

        This is pretty much my take on it. I forced myself to watch three episodes one night, more just so I can understand what the show was about than anything. I didn’t find it entertaining, but then I am just not a fan of reality television, so my perception is automatically going to be a bit biased.

        The family in general is not my cup of tea, I find them to be a little grating and obnoxious according to my upbringing and social standards.

        That being said… I would STILL much rather be forced to spend an afternoon with them than those damned Kardashians.

    • soniadelvalle

      I bet there’s thousands who would love to have a big stupid farty redneck kind-hearted loving family as them.

    • geckomommy

      I don’t do reality television…I just don’t. But, from what I understand, most people watch these types of shows (and the Jersey ones and the Kardashian ones) because they like to watch train wrecks. This family has a television show because they’re strange and fascinating and outlandish to most Americans and yeah, a lot of people just like to laugh at them… I agree with you, it’s really sad. I’m sure they’re a lovely family and I love hearing stories about how they’re staying grounded despite all the money and fame. I wish them the best and would never say that they are personally “everything that is wrong with America” or anything like that. But I think that the culture created by reality TV in general, those people that like to watch these shows and, as you said, be dicks about it, are what is wrong with America.

    • Scarlette

      Honey Boo Boo > Kim K.


    • Uno Aphex

      Damn, I guess I’m a terrible human being.

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