It really didn’t take long for me to get fed up with the Cory Monteith coverage, did it? His tragic death only became public knowledge a few days ago, with the cause (heroin and alcohol) being revealed late yesterday afternoon, and I’m already pretty disgusted with the way some media outlets are handling it. I understand for readers and clicks, but the galleries of his life and the constant rehashing of his previous rehab visits, the tell-alls about his ‘last days’ and his ‘double life’, and the fact that he ‘seemed fine’ just days before his death are starting to feel very exploitative. And now there’s this newest angle — Lea Michele‘s reaction.
Guys. Come on. What do you think her reaction is? She has to be completely devastated; it’s an unimaginable situation. No one can begin to understand what she’s going through, and particularly for it to be taking place on such a public stage, it must be excruciating. I’ve been pretty open about not being a fan of Lea Michele for a while, and even I can respect the enormity of her grief. So you know what’s not effing useful? Suggesting that she could have in any way prevented this. This as in Cory’s death. This as in his drug-addiction. This as in an all-consuming disease, the battling of which ultimately took his life.
To suggest that she could have done more and chose not to is irresponsible as a human being and reprehensible as a journalist, but that’s exactly what’s been posited by some sources trumpeting headlines with variations on ‘Glee Tried To Save Him’ and ‘Lea’s Anguish: He Could Have Been Saved’. InTouch has a statement from one of Lea’s friends, saying:
“Lea is in a haze of disbelief. She was the biggest cheerleader of him getting sober. He fought for sobriety for her because she wanted it for him so badly. I think she hoped she could save him.”
Okay, so let’s just be careful about our phrasing here, guys. Saying ‘he fought for sobriety for her‘ and that ‘she wanted it for him‘ suggests a kind of transaction back and forth between the couple. Like, “here, I’ll trade you my health for your love. If you love me enough, surely you will get healthy. And in turn if I love you enough, it will magically erase your addiction and we can live happily together with no effort at all!” No. Not fact. Zero percent fact. Lea really had nothing to do with his addiction. Not one thing. That was a burden that Cory had to carry by himself, and that’s one of addiction’s most dangerous characteristics — its ability to isolate.
“Cory promised her he was fine and clean and she believed him.”
I mean yeah, guys. After a certain point, that’s really all you can do. You either trust your partner when they say they’re clean and sober, or you become consumed with paranoia and destroy the relationship. It’s about trust, and Cory betrayed Lea’s, not the other way around. All you can do as a loved one to an addict is to trust what they say, at least until you have evidence to the contrary, at which point you can do your best to intervene. Those are the only options available to you. It’s a maddening, helpless, frustrating place to be, but it’s their reality.
So let’s all play to the top of our intelligence here and assume Lea Michele is devastated because her boyfriend of over a year and a half effing died, not because she could’ve done anything to stop it.