• Tue, Jul 16 2013

Will Smith’s Newest Movie Love Interest Is Twenty-Three, So That’s Awesome

Will Smith at New York premiere of After Earth May 2013Perhaps you’ve heard of the movie Focus, even if you don’t realize you have. It’s that movie that Ben Affleck and Kristen Stewart were supposed to co-star in…until Ben dropped out because he didn’t want to cheat on his marriage and let down his family and all that morality garbage that’s so played out in Hollywood these days. I know, I’m bored of it too. Anyway, so then Will Smith signed on in Ben Affleck’s old role, and K-Stew was like, “Peace!” because she felt the age difference was too big, since Ben was already pushing it at forty and Will is four years older than him, at forty-four. Obvi.

So now that she’s gone, the producers had the opportunity to cast someone more age-appropriate, and wonderful options like Olivia Munn, 33, Michelle Williams, 32, Jessica Biel, 31, and Rose Byrne, 33, all of whom were up for the part. But instead, they elected to cast Margot Robbie, an Australian actress the same age as K-Stew…twenty-three. Sigh. Let me throw some math at you. Will’s new leading lady is twenty-one years younger than Will himself, eighteen years younger than his real life wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith, eight years older than his son Jaden, eleven years older than his daughter Willow, and only three years older than Trey, Will’s son from his first marriage. Can we please pull it together, Hollywood men? You’re not all that.

Meanwhile, with all this swapping in and out of actors, the entire story line has been compromised. Or at least, I assume it has, without ever having read anything about it. The way things stand now,  it’ll be slightly different from the original tender tale of a man who harbors a secret affection for his beard and Academy Awards while attempting to teach a clinically gangly patient to dance and/or make eye contact. Either one would be acceptable, but we’re not gonna see EITHER, because both of our shining glimmering stars bailed on the project. Now that it’s Will and this Margot chippie, it’ll probably be the coming-of-age tale of a young Australian lass who washes ashore in America. She is nameless and without provenance until Will takes her under his wing with many cheeky winks and looks to the camera. He raises her as his own until one day when he’s changing her diaper, love blossoms and they spend the rest of the movie bathing each other. There! Now you don’t even have to see it!

(Image: PNP / WENN.com)

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  • Miss Jo

    Oh, so that’s how it’s done!?! The writer makes up the minds of the readers for them with his/her own foolish opinion. SMH Maybe you as a writer should FOCUS (pun intended)! This foolish article should have been a facebook/twitter rant or on some silly blog somewhere. It is not worthy of being a legitimate article in any magazine or newsletter. #WastedMinutes

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      It’s so weird, I totally meant to post this on my silly blog, Crushable.com. I’m heartbroken and embarrassed to find out that it apparently posted onto the cover of Time Magazine instead.

    • Dingo Fang

      Hooray! A momentous day for Alexis as she has her very own troll! None can claim internet fame without a few of these lurking about. No doubt she will continue to linger about here and there trying to flaunt superiority over you while generating traffic for your page in the process. This only ever benefits you while enraging the troll in the process

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      I’ve finally made it!

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