• Mon, Jul 15 2013

Jay-Z And Justin Timberlake Duet At Concert, Panties Spontaneously Combust

Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake performing together July 2013First of all, let me apologize for using the word ‘panties’ in the title. It’s a word I try to avoid in day to day life, and there I go just plastering it atop this website that we all read together, like I’m some kind of circus freak. The thing is, it’s really the only word adequate to describe what happens when Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake combine their dulcet tones in a sultry web of duets. It’s not cute enough that ovaries explode, or intellectual enough that minds are blown…it very specifically causes the panties of human creatures to spontaneously combust. There’s no other way to talk about it.

At the Yahoo! Wireless Festival in London yesterday, Jay-Z was starting his song ‘Holy Grail’ when he was suddenly and miraculously joined onstage by Jessica Biel‘s current husband but maybe not for long, JT himself. It’s hard to see exactly when he steps into the light, but just know that his appearance was heralded at around sixteen seconds in by what I assume is a pair of panties thrown jubilantly up into the air in the left hand corner of the video. See for yourself.

What follows is mostly a series of terrifying screams issuing from a sea of gently waving smartphones and a harrowing test of your motion sickness survival skills. Whoever took this video was apparently being shaken quite vigorously by something or someone — perhaps a giant or a human-sized blender. Either that, or they were themselves a shake weight. It’s so hard to tell in these types of situations.

Either way, it’s a fun video of one of the greatest BFF-ships in the business, and the song itself is actually pretty good. Not that I had any doubt of that, but when you start getting full of yourself to the extent that you decide lip-synching to your own song for six hours in a museum is worthy of the designation of ‘art’, I start to get a little worried, y’know?

(Image: Tyrone Beckford

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  • mhart

    Can Crushable designate someone who is not an ASSHOLE to write about Justin Timberlake. Seriously do you have to take digs at Jessica Biel in every single one of your posts? You sound pathetic

    • Jenni

      We can certainly put an ad up looking for someone, but we currently have no non-assholes employed here.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Dear Asshole-In-Chief,
      Thanks for having my back.
      Love, Associate Asshole.