• Sun, Jul 14 2013

Halle Berry Got Married In A French Castle Yesterday Because Her Life Is Better Than Yours

Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez at Cloud Atlas Premiere October 2012

Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez tied the knot in a French chateau yesterday, because even unattractive, untalented people deserve a fairy tale wedding sometimes guys.  Wait, what?  Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez are two insanely good-looking people?  Who are believable and award-winning actors?  With the world’s most beautiful baby boy on the way?  Oh, okay then.  I’ll be working on my cliff-diving today because that will never be my life.  I mean, he’s so #hawt he made Diane Lane nearly leave Richard Gere for Pete’s sake!

“White marquees were put up, and everyone was very discreet because it was a show business wedding,” a local told Us Weekly of the nuptials. “But generally it was pretty down-to-earth.”  People magazine reports that 60 guests were in attendance, dinner was held under an arbor, and there was a fireworks display.

Okay, I don’t even know what “under an arbor” means so that right there makes Halle Berry’s life 100x better than the rest of ours.  I imagine it’s akin to reciting vows ‘neath a French willow tree bedazzled by the light of a thousand fairies, or something similar.

This marks the third marriage for Berry, which, according to a few of my guy friends, means she’s “probably crazy” and thus prompted me to list a bunch of Hollywood dudes who think nothing of serial marriages in defense of her and Jennifer Aniston (whom they also deem “a nutjob” for similar reasons).

Anywho… best of luck to two of the most breathtakingly gorgeous people on the planet as they embark on a life that will hopefully include less duels with past lovers and more fairies.

(Photo: WENN)

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