You guys. You may not know it, but today is a fateful day. Today is Crushable’s last day in our current office before we move to a mystical land a few blocks further uptown. (I won’t tell you where, because the mail room would be so entirely overwhelmed by your constant deliveries of flowers and gifts. Also we don’t have a mail room.) It’s a bittersweet day, because these cubicle walls and this harsh, windowless fluorescent light has always been good to me. But it’s time to move on, okay, so let’s not get sentimental. Before I leave, I will obviously do a traditional laying on of hands on every object in my immediate vicinity, accompanied by a touching eulogy for every moment we’ve shared, but I won’t waste your time with that.
What I will waste your time with is a stupid laugh of the day — or, more accurately — stupid laughs of the day, because in honor of my leave-taking of this venerable office, I wanted to leave you with a round-up. So today you get not just one video, not just two, but FIVE. That’s right, five videos. And they’re all parodies of ‘Blurred Lines’, which created so much controversy when Robin Thicke first released the NSFW version in all its breast-y glory back in March. We got puppets, we got Jimmy Kimmel, we got dessert foods…we got it all, so please to enjoy our five favorites, ya’ll. Spoiler alert: they’re all real sassy.
What if Jimmy Kimmel started things off right by video-bombing Robin, Pharell, and the original three girls as they try to do a sexy version? I’d be pretty into that. Plus one thousand points for Guillermo in a gold suit.