Congratulations to whichever middle-aged, white male executive it was over at Lifetime who came up with this promotional campaign, because you effectively just put Project Runway back on the map. Lately some of the luster has been fading from the franchise, with viewership dropping steadily with each new season’s premiere, so what’s a great way to spice things up and get people talking about it again? Create a naked print ad so scandalous that Los Angeles can’t even display it in public.
The above ad was created for the show’s twelfth season, and Lifetime has confirmed that its overt nudity has prevented it from appearing in LA, where the city’s Department of Building and Safety prohibits signs featuring any kind of ‘obscene matters’. But the thing is, what’s obscene about this? If you mean to tell me that you don’t know what Marie Antoinette, Tim Gunn dressed as a waiter/enforcer and armed with an oversized needle, and a whole heap of oiled up model bodies has to do with a sewing competition, then I’m gonna have to ask you to get your head examined because isn’t it obvious?! Heidi certainly thinks so, and she’s clearly standing behind the ad, posting this frantic tweet to all her followers:
— Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) July 9, 2013
But even if she hadn’t tweeted, it still would’ve been obvious that Heidi had her hands in this promotional campaign, and you know how I know that? Because she’s the only blond in the picture. She may not be naked but SHE IS STILL THE QUEEN AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU WILL BE AUF-ED. Are we clear? Great.
In other news, Michael Kors will be returning to the panel when the show airs next Thursday, June 18th at 9:30pm, which is wonderful because he’s a comedic genius. I don’t even care about his experience as a designer, I’d watch his judging feedback on loop for ten hours straight. Each of his comments is like a sacred fashion haiku that I want to frame and hang over my bed so I can look at it forevermore.
Now go back to whatever it is you were doing, humble reader. I’ll assume it was writhing naked on stairs waiting for reality television contestants to make you an avante-garde romper out of fruit roll-ups and kitty litter.