In “I thought this already happened but apparently not” news, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler have reportedly broken up after two years together. There were rumors a few months ago that this had already happened, but later reports denied those rumors. Now People magazine is reporting that the split is official. And I suggest you go find your diary, retrieve the key, unlock it, turn to your “Celebrity Break-Up Predictions” section, and flip to two years ago when this relationship first started to check your break-up predictions against this anonymous source’s statement. Because I’m betting you were very close, if not exact, in figuring out why these two would eventually split.
“Stacy called it quits. She wants to have children and a family someday. She knows where George stands on that,” a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE exclusively. “They talked and they quietly stopped being a couple several weeks ago.”
Lady wants a family one day, and playboy George doesn’t want that? Yep, everything looks to be in order. Congratulations, world, we can all predict the future! Extra points if you had “2 yearz” down as the time span. Am I the only one who was using Z instead of S back in 2011? Well, whatever, it still counts.
George and Stacy haven’t actually been photographed together since March since they’ve been so busy, and after consulting my celebrity relationship manual I’ve concluded that that’s definitely one of the top signs of a break-up. But it was the fact that they spent Independence Day apart that really got people talking. Because if you don’t make time in your busy schedules to celebrate America’s birthday in the same place, love is so obviously lost.
The source goes on to say that the split was amicable.
“They talk every day. They were friends before they started dating and they’ll be friends after. It was a friendly [breakup].”
So that’s that. Should we all sit around in a circle and share our feelings about this news? I’d describe mine as somewhere between “meh” and “what’s for lunch?” But that might just be because I’ve spent the last four months assuming they were already broken up. Carry on with whatever feelings you’re feeling. And then jot them down in the “Celebrity Break-Up Reactions” section of your diary. Don’t forget to hide the key when you’re done!