Kris Jenner doesn’t like it when people listen to her pee. If this isn’t the kind of information that you were hoping to learn today, than this week’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians is probably not for you. However, if you’re like me and have spent the last several weeks tossing and turning at night, wishing you knew more about Momma Jenner, than feel free to sleep easy tonight because I have all the deets.
So, like I was saying, Kris Jenner doesn’t like it when people listen to her pee. This fear actually causes her to avoid peeing in public, which is not an easy task for a woman who throughout the series has had a history or peeing her pants when she tries to hold it. While there are no pants-peeing incidents this week, she does have one a close call and ends up peeing outside her home in a garden or something.
Last week’s fighting siblings Kendall and Kylie Jenner hate to see their mom all self conscious about a natural human process that everyone does, so they decide that the best way for Kris to conquer her fears is to face them. That’s right, not only do they film their own mother peeing in a public bathroom stall, but they then have the genius idea to post the video on their blog.
Now, it’s not very often that I find myself feeling bad for Kris Jenner, and actually this wasn’t really one of those occasions. But I did find myself agreeing with Momager Kris, another rare event, when she explained that posting a video of your mother peeing on the internet is kind of not so cool. Especially when you’re famous and lots of people will probably see that video. And especially especially when it’s your mom and she birthed you and got you jobs at Seventeen magazine and oh dear god why in the world would you ever want to film your mother peeing and share it with others? I’d really like to hear an answer on that one.
But not only do the girls think it’s a good idea, they insist that they’re doing their mom a favor by showing the world that Kris Jenner is just like us; she even pees. In a half-hearted attempt at an apology that seemed more like a whole-hearted attempt to get more episode air time and show off the singing pipes of one of Kylie’s friends, the girls decide to record some creepy song about how everyone pees. Kris actually loves the song and forgives them, but listening to Kendall and Kylie rap makes me feel almost as uncomfortable as I did when I learned that Matthew Perry was constantly hungover while filming Friends.
What’s that you say? You’d like to hear more fun facts about Kris Jenner that are not related to her bladder? Okay, I’ve got another good one: Kris likes to TP Kim Kardashian‘s house when she’s drunk on tequila. Oh, and she still thinks it’s possible to wear sunglasses and claim you have a migraine the morning after you go out drinking and have someone believe you. But don’t worry, Kris, even though Kim may not buy the migraine bit, she still forgives you when she realizes that you only drunkenly TPed her house because Khloe was sad that everyone was ignoring her to talk about baby stuff. Yup, you read that right. That was the actual logic that calmed down a not at all amused Kim.
On the off chance that you’re not feeling completely satisfied and ready to start your day thanks to these enlightening revelations about Kris Jenner, I have one more piece of news that might actually catch you by surprise. You know cute little blonde-haired Leah who’s married to/in a band with Bruce’s son Brandon? Her dad is former Eagles guitarist Don Felder. And here I was thinking Leah and Brandon were using the show to get exposure for their band (okay, I actually still kind of think that)… Little did I know, Leah has an actual blood relative in the music industry.
As someone who considers herself a bit of a Kardashian know-it-all, this was actually pretty surprising news. So now I’ve got to ask, is there anything else about Leah that I should know? Thanks in advance for your info.
(Photo: Sam Sharma, PacificCoastNews.com)