• Mon, Jul 8 2013

The Adele Wax Figure Is Skinnier Than Adele Herself — Good Job, Humans

Adele wax figure is unveiled at Madame Tussaud's London July 2013Humans, you were doing so well lately, I was so impressed! You were going to see The Heat instead of White House Down, you were cheering for Channing Tatum holding what was presumably a baby, and you were rejecting the name North West. All solid choices, and I even thought we were on a roll…until Adele‘s wax figure was unveiled at the London version of Madame Tussaud’s and, girl, did you see it? ‘Cause it’s kinda skinny in areas where Adele herself kinda is not.

It had been a pretty solid week for do-gooding, so I guess I should’ve known it couldn’t last, and I shouldn’t have been so surprised when the supposedly identical wax version of Adele was decidedly more svelte than its subject. But I was, okay! We all have hopes and dreams, and one of mine was that we could all live peacefully in a world where human beings don’t get fat-shamed. I realize now that that’s crazy, but barring that, I was at least hoping that wax figures were safe from the perpetual body-snarking.

The thing is, Adele’s weight is an issue, but only because we’ve made it one. Even with society’s obsession with her body, she herself has made it clear that the only reason she would be induced to change her lifestyle is if her weight became an obstacle to her health or her sex life. Other than that, she’s really not interested in buying into the Hollywood ideals that insist a woman look a certain way before she can be regarded as talented or accepted as legitimately famous. Just look what people are still comfortable saying about Melissa McCarthy, even though she is a literal titan of comedy and completely stole my heart and my lung capacity in The Heat because I was laughing so hard. But yeah, let’s definitely all weigh in (sorry) on her appearance, because that is and should be completely related.

Adele’s wax figure is supposedly based on her appearance at the 2012 Grammys, and I just wish we had a picture with which to compare the two Adeles. Oh what’s that? We do?! You don’t say. Let’s take a look.

Adele attending the Grammy Awards February 2012Yeah it’s nothing that major or excitingly scandalous, but the wax figure definitely took some liberties with her jawline and took some weight out of her neck and cheeks. The wax figure still looks like Adele, but the Photoshopped Barbie version, which is kind of a bummer. Especially when you take into account this quote from the Madame Tussaud’s PR Manager, Nicole Fenner:

“We start off by taking thousands of measurements and loads pictures of her personality. She is one of the most influential British female artists and we know she is going to be a huge hit with our guests alongside our other pop greats. We’re very excited to welcome her to Madame Tussauds London.”

It seems to me it’s pretty likely that they took all those thousands of measurements, and just skimmed a little bit off the top to make Adele more ‘conventionally attractive’, which is really disappointing. It’s already weird enough to make a life-size person out of wax, but I’m fairly confident that the main point of it is to be indistinguishable to the original, right? Even if the original is totally gross and unworthy of our attention as a nation on account of not being a size two.

(Image: Daniel Deme / Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com)

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  • MCR

    Of course, nothing epitomizes brilliant creative talent and star quality like conventional attractiveness. Anything that deviates from the standard renders you unfit for the performing arts, whether it’s Streisand’s nose, Tilda Swinton’s androgyny, or Kyra Knightley’s flat chest.

  • Troy

    CHEAPER ON THE WAX BILLS

  • Reese

    The question is, would Adele be upset by this or would she like her wax figure?