When Lindsay Lohan finally gets all ten rehabs on her punch card and redeems it for her free sandwich, she’ll be heading away from California and back to New York City to be with her mom, Dina Lohan. What a lovely, totally responsible and entirely appropriate idea! I literally cannot think of a better place for Lindsay to live once she’s done cleansing herself of her inner party girl. In other news, today is Opposite Day, so I should also add that Kimye totally named their baby something normal and Miley Cyrus’ relationship status is crystal clear.
Dina herself made the announcement via the New York Daily News, as you do when you just want to take care of your troubled daughter with no ulterior motives.
“She’s not going to live in Los Angeles,” she told The News. “She will definitely start back home with all of us.”
Dina also says she plans to throw Lindsay a belated pool party for her birthday, which Dina and family weren’t at rehab to celebrate.
“It was a very calm, low-key birthday. We couldn’t visit because it fell during the week, but we mailed her cards and gifts,” Dina Lohan said. “We’re going to work it out to all go visit her again, and then we’re planning the pool party.”
Okay, let’s take a break from Opposite Day festivities and really talk about this. First of all, is it really the best idea for Lindsay to go back to living with the mother who parties with her and uses her misfortune to get more attention for herself and is just generally the worst? And is it also the best idea to welcome Lindsay home with a “party”? Isn’t that where most of Lindsay’s problem start? She parties too much? If you absolutely must celebrate, can you call it something boring like a get-together or a shindig or a gathering of people having pleasant, sober conversations? Because I’m pretty sure if you mention the word “party” to Lindsay, a secret door will open in the ground where she’s standing and send her sliding through underground tubes right into the lobby of the nearest rehab facility, just as a precaution.
Let’s not celebrate too much, ‘kay Dina? Because Lindsay still has 30 days of community service and 18 months of psychological therapy to get through before she’ll be free to do whatever it is that gets her back in jail or rehab or locked in a the tower of a castle next.
(Photo: David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews)
(via Radar Online)