Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have turned down a $3 million offer for a picture of baby North West from an Australian magazine, and they claim money isn’t the issue. Apparently Kanye doesn’t want to make money off their child. Which is exactly the card you play when you are trying to up the offer.
It’s classic bargaining. An offer is made, an offer is rejected under the guise of a moral objection, and then a better offer is made. Would the Louisiana Purchase have been the Louisiana Purchase without that famous French line, “I’m not sure I want to make money off this land. I guess being a landowner has changed me.”
Guys, I’m talking about a piece of history here for which I needed to use Wikipedia to confirm even the most basic details. And I’m doing that detailed research to make a point. Everyone has a price.
You will do anything if the price is high enough and you will buy anything if the price is low enough.
For instance, even I will try the new crop top trend if the crop top is cheap enough. My price is around $5. If there’s a cool crop top available for $5 at Forever 21, I will buy it and let it sit in my drawer for months until I decide I should debut it on a 10 minute run to Duane Reade to buy Pepto Bismol because a touch of the stomach flu has left me feeling particularly svelte.
Am I speaking your language?
Let’s not forget who we’re talking about here. Kim Kardashian of having a blood facial on national television and Kanye West of naming his album Yeezus. I think the S.S. Under The Radar has already set sail and taken neither of them with it.
This is what I think is going to happen. Kim is going to wait until she’s in pre-baby shape, decide which of her shoes she wants to use as a baby-carrier, maybe wait until the baby’s eyebrows come in a little more (it can take some time, and trust me you are glad when they do) and then she’ll finally debut North West (in said shoe) at some sort of garden party hosted by Cristal, where she will be disappointed that she didn’t think of that name first, because “Cristal” is actually a not-bad name for a baby. The picture will appear candid but of course she will be receiving $15 mil for the thing because a baby mama’s got to buy new shoes now that North spit up on this pair.
Or she will do one of those creepy wrapped-in-white-sheets-at-home photo shoots where you’re like, “Does everyone need to be naked for this?”
I’m actually pulling for the latter. It’s what the French would have wanted. Remember the French? From the Louisiana Purchase? Ugh, you guys retain nothing!