Okay, Kardashian Klan, I need you to really listen up this time. All season long I’ve been asking you to stop telling me “news” that’s I’ve already read in US Weekly, but you keep on doing it anyway. And this week was the worst example of that, because not only did you tell me things I already knew, but you told me things that were sad. I’m not watching your show each week so that I can feel sad, so knock it off.
This week we traveled down memory lane back to Rob Kardashian‘s “Sad Rob” phase. You remember the phase. The one where he was sad because his gut kept growing and his penis kept shrinking. The one where he kept telling lies, so no one believed him when he said his car had been towed and he needed a ride home. And, of course, the one where he was charged with assault and robbery after a paparazzi tried to pictures of him on private property.
But while I kind of didn’t really feel very interested in Rob’s life when I read those headlines months ago, actually watching him go through all of this stuff was sort of not that fun. He’s clearly in a dark place, making snide comments and blowing up at everyone, insisting that his family doesn’t take him seriously, and refusing to open up about his feelings to anyone. Plus, Kris Jenner tells us that Rob is just sitting alone in his room all day. Guys, this is a kid who’s really hurting.
Rob, I’m here for you. And I want you to know that it could be much worse. You could be named after an intermediate direction. Your mother could have actually laughed the first time she heard your name. Amirighttt? Are you feeling better yet?
But Rob wasn’t the only family member suffering from a serious case of sad. Kendall and Kylie Jenner were bickering about literally everything for the whole episode. This was a bit less depressing, though, since they were clearly just being your every day completely spoiled and over-exposed angsty teens. You know, blowing each other off at dinner time, refusing to share snow pants, and threatening to stab each other in the throat. The usual. Khloe Kardashian tries to play mediator between the two and has only moderate success. The younger sisters eventually give each other a half-hearted embrace and we later see them looking at baby pictures together, but I wasn’t really convinced that they’d actually made up.
Come on, Kardashians, where is the love? You may be the most fame hungry family on television, but I always thought you were a fame hungry family that deep down really cares about each other. Well, I mean, except for Kris and Bruce Jenner. And Bruce and Brody Jenner. But other than that, I thought you cared!
I guess love really does come when you least expect it, because this week we got a heaping dose of it from the most unlikely of places: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick. Scott reminded us again this week that he dreams of being a race car driver, and he went to a racing class so that he can one day compete in a race. But the social anxiety that he apparently has got in the way of him living out that dream, so he had to pack his bags and come home early.
While most of the family is pretty hard on Scott–Bruce thinks he needs to grow up and Rob wonders how a guy who calls himself Lord Disick could have social anxiety–Kourtney totally stands by her man. She tells him she wants to help him and that he shouldn’t care about what other people think. Then they exchange some smiles and laughs that make it look like they actually do love each other.
So, take note of this rare happy moment between Kourtney and Scott, Kardashians, and try to show me more happy stuff like that next week, Okay? Okay. I’ll see you then.
(Photo: Will Alexander/ WENN)