With all the hub-bub coming from North West’s nursery and Kate Middleton’s womb, I almost forgot that Jessica Simpson was also on our due-any-day-now list. The singer formerly known as Mrs. Lachey gave birth today to a baby boy named Ace Knute Johnson. While the “kn” is usually silent, I have a weird feeling that in this case it’s pronounced ka-noot. And that the C in Ace is a hard C. Ache ka-noot Johnson. But that’s just a guess. Bear in mind that it is Sunday night and I didn’t plan on turning my brain on for at least another 12 hours. So my apologies if I’m wrong. Also my apologies if this whole thing’s written in emoticons. That just happens to be the way I communicate on the weekends. “Reading and writing is best for weekdays, between 9-5,” Ernest Hemingway once wrote in a discarded chapter of The Old Man and the Sea.
Obviously we’ll give you more on this story as it develops. Or if Jessica Simpson gets pregnant again tonight. As we’re all too aware, she sometimes struggles with the basics of the birds and the bees. All horribly rude snark aside, we’re excited for the Simpson-Johnson family as they add another adorable child to their growing family. We eagerly await the first Instagram photo of little Ace.