Last night Zach Braff took to his much beloved Twitter account to share some deep and profound thoughts about the universe and our place in it as human beings. Ha ha, just kidding. He actually just posted a Vine of himself singing a Justin Bieber song to a stuffed monkey. But not just any Justin Bieber song, and not just any stuffed monkey. The song was “Baby,” and the monkey was a version of the monkey Zach himself voiced in Oz: The Great and Powerful. Those details aren’t really that important, but I came to the second conclusion all by myself without ever having seen that movie, so I was proud of myself and felt like sharing.
I’m not a Viner (is that what the kids are saying?), and I haven’t really understood the appeal, unless I see a particularly clever use of the medium. I mean, did you see what Taylor Swift posted last week? So I first watched this Vine and thought, “Ugh, whatever, just another celebrity who thinks we’re interested in the weird ways he passes the time.” But then I kept watching it. Over and over again. I couldn’t look away. And by the fifth or sixth time, it became oddly comforting? Like, in the first shot we’re seeing Zach from the monkey’s point of view, so it’s like we are the monkey and Zach is singing to us. And then when we see the monkey’s face it’s so peaceful and happy, and since we were just emotionally aligned with the monkey in the previous shot, we ourselves are manipulated into feeling happy. So in addition to making what I’m assuming is a comment on Justin Bieber’s monkey-abandoning scandal, this is also a beautiful piece of 6-second art. If you’re wondering, yes, I did just eat a freshman Film Studies term paper for lunch. It was delicious, thank you for asking.
I am forced to wonder, however, if this is what all our Kickstarter money is funding. And when I say our Kickstarter money, I obviously just mean humanity’s money in general, since I didn’t donate to Zach’s campaign, being not so in love with the idea of giving famous people money to make things I will then have to pay more to experience. As artistic and hauntingly beautiful as I’ve concluded this Vine is, I’m not so sure I approve of him using our funds to sing Justin Bieber songs. You can do that on your own time, Zach. But thanks for the afternoon contemplation.