Under The Dome, the TV adaptation of the Stephen King book of the same name, premiered last night on CBS (I guess Showtime fell through?) and it was intense. Like you might have guessed from the title, it involves a very large dome and people being underneath it and I will admit that that doesn’t really sound like much more than a slight annoyance that a crane can fix. But then you think about how many spiders you’ve probably killed like that in your life and, wow, it’s kind of serious, isn’t it? After all, I know you remember how insane Truman went in The Truman Show or maybe you don’t and you just have to take my word that he went very crazy.
But for all of the intensity that the episode delivers, what it serves up even more of are piping hot plates of “whaaat is happening?” I mean, you could literally see the question marks rising from the top of my head like little confused angels or the green diamond above a Sim’s head. It’s probably clear at this point that I didn’t read the book before I watched (especially since I’m not rabidly shouting about how terrible it is that the show doesn’t stay true to the book) but I have no shame. In fact, my ignorance has spawned this lovely list of the absolute most important questions that I still have after watching the first episode.
1. Was that a cow that just got sliced in half when the dome fell? WAS IT?!
2. Why is this gigantic upside-down fishbowl giving everyone in the town seizures?
3. Is Julia’s husband cheating on her? Is he a jerk who can’t be trusted?
4. Why have the town’s police officers been having tons of propane smuggled into the town?
5. Who actually is Barbie? (Not Ken’s lifelong wifey with 100 different personalities. I mean the mysterious character in this show who won’t even give his real name or explain why he’s nicknamed after a child’s toy.)
6. Is it as awesome as it seems to throw an “Isolated From The World Because We’re Trapped Under A Dome” party?
7. Why isn’t anyone concerned about running out of oxygen, panicking and, subsequently, hyperventilating, causing the oxygen supply to run out even faster?
8. What the heck is up with Junior and why is he the most deranged person to ever be depicted on TV?
9. Waaait a second, Barbie knows that Julia’s husband is actually dead! But is he the one who killed him? Why why why?
10. Who or what shot Officer Duke through (?) the dome?
11. Why do 7 days take so long to pass? I need this week to hurry up already so I can have all of my questions answered/be more confused than I already am by the next episode!