Pretty Sure Someone Tricked Kristen Stewart Into Thinking She Got A Tattoo

Kristen Stewart tattoo June 2013

Kristen Stewart is continuing her Single Ladies Tour of America (I believe that’s the official title) by visiting a tattoo parlor in Nashville, Tennessee. Because what else is there for a single lady to do once she’s posed with Hooters waitresses and stood on the top of the bar at Coyote Ugly? I’m sure her handwritten-on-a-cocktail-napkin single ladies to-do list also dictates she try out an “accent nail” at the salon and attempt the difficult feat of eating just one Milano cookie at once. Oh, that’s just the stuff on my single ladies to-do list? Okay then. Either way, she went to Pride and Glory Tattoo Parlor and maybe got her first tattoo. I say “maybe” because in the pictures the parlor shared on Facebook, I’m not seeing much there.

She’s holding her arm up as if she’s inviting us to check out her new ink, or maybe she’s just getting ready to sing “Father Abraham” with Bobby Draper. People seem to agree that if the tattoo is anywhere in that picture, it’s on her wrist, but it’s a little confusing that Kristen is kinda sorta pointing to her elbow. Either that or she’s just giving a very exhausted peace sign. I can maybe make out a tiny blotch on her wrist that could be a tattoo, but it could also be a shadow or a smudge on the camera or a splash of stray barbecue sauce. Therefore I have a theory that someone tricked Kristen into thinking she got a tattoo when there’s really nothing there. There’s simply no other explanation.

You know the story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” where the people promise to make the emperor an outfit that inferior people can’t see (even though he’s obviously just naked) and he pretends that he can see the clothes so he doesn’t look like a dum-dum? Maybe that’s what happened here. Maybe K-Stew actually believes she has a tattoo there on her wrist that only future Oscar-winners can see, and she’s pretending to show it off because she doesn’t want people to think she won’t win an Oscar. Either that or it’s a microscopic tattoo that reads, “If you can read this, I’m filing a restraining order.”

(Photo: Facebook via Mirror)

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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    • Olivia Wilson

      I have a mosquito bite that looks exactly like that “tattoo,” so nice try, Kristen.

    • Katlin

      Excellent mad men reference. Best ever.

      • Jill O’Rourke


      • abbeysbooks

        Great work Jill. I like your style.

      • Jill O’Rourke

        Thank you!

      • abbeysbooks

        Ah shucks Jill. Anyone that follows the path laid out by Jean Baudrillard gets 5 gold stars at least.

    • MCR

      Invisible tattoos could be the next big thing.

      • abbeysbooks

        Yes you will have to burn the skin to bring them out. Create scar tissue that becomes part of the tattoo to make tattoo time cheaper.

    • abbeysbooks

      I think she drew it on and used smearable ink and doesn’t know it yet so she held up her wrist. Is anyone who likes KS and RP completely fed up with their fans to the point they hate their fans? Or is it just me?

    • abbeysbooks

      As usual jenni your voice is the clear bell of truth ringing in the wilderness.

      • Jenni

        Not as usual at all, this clear bell of truth goes by the name of Jill

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