Paula Deen’s Apology Video Is Some Grade A Bullcrap

Paula Deen on the Today show January 2012UPDATE UPDATE: Paula up and got fired from Food Network, ya’ll. Are you shocked or are you really shocked?

UPDATE: This story is the terrible gift that keeps on giving. Paula has now released what she seems to think is an apology video, with strange edits, long pauses, and heaps and heaps of insincerity! Check it out at the bottom.

I just realized that we at Crushable have done a very neglectful thing — we haven’t kept you up-to-date on the Paula Deen saga, which is quite the saga, so I deeply apologize. We’ve just been so busy gaping at it like the car crash that it is that we forgot to fill you in on what’s been going on. But that all stops today.

In case you don’t know who she is, Paula has hosted a variety of shows on The Food Network, mostly consisting of her melting butter down, folding it into a butter sauce, and topping it with butter. Except recently she’s been very publicly (and unsurprisingly, if you’ve ever gotten a look at her recipes) struggling with diabetes, so she’s been substituting heavy cream of late. Just the small sacrifices we all have to make for the good of our health and bodies. But anyway, Paula is currently being sued for racial and sexual workplace discrimination by a former employee.

When I first heard about it, I was inclined to think that it would probably turn into a he-said-she-said type of ordeal, settled out of court and whatnot, and we’d never find out exactly what took place or exactly how racist Paula Deen was or wasn’t. It’s just, that’s how things like this usually go. Whether or not they said the things in questions, once a celebrity gets called on being inappropriate, they usually either apologize and say they know better, or deny that it ever happened. So that’s what I was expecting.

…until I clapped my eyes on the deposition. And oh my god you guys, it is unbelievable. Just to give you a tasty tingle, the way it starts out is with the question for Paula, “Have you ever used the n-word yourself?” and her response is “Yes, of course.” YES OF COURSE. What?! Girl what are you doing? What is the of course about? For some reason, anytime I hear that, it cracks me up. It’s just so incredibly inappropriate and represents such a divorce from reality that I can’t help but laugh because it makes me so uncomfortable. Does this woman know what she’s being sued for? I won’t recap all the ridiculous things she says in the deposition except to say that the lawyer who’s deposing her is on a walk in the park. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up doing this whole thing pro bono, because all he has to do is occasionally say “okay, okay” as Paula rambles on and digs herself into a hole. Okay, I lied. Here’s one more segment, and then I’m done:

What about jokes, if somebody is telling a joke that’s got —
It’s just what they are, they’re jokes.

Okay. Would you consider those to be using the N word in a mean way?
That’s — that’s kind of hard. Most — most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks. Most jokes target — I don’t know. I didn’t make up the joke, I don’t know. I can’t — I don’t know.

Okay.

They usually target, though, a group. Gays or straights, black, redneck, you know, I just don’t know — I just don’t know what to say. I can’t, myself, determine what offends another person.
Well, if you were sitting around at home just with you and your family, would you feel any hesitation in telling a joke that you thought was funny if it had the N-word in it?
I don’t tell jokes, not at my house. That’s —

Do the other members of your family tell jokes at home?
Yes.

Okay.
Yes.

And they told jokes using the N-word?
I’m sure they have. My husband is constantly telling me jokes.

Okay. And have — are you offended at all by those jokes?
No, because it’s my husband.

Honestly, where do you even start with that? She just keeps volunteering information that makes things so much worse for herself. I’m not saying the woman should lie, but she should have the common sense to be like, “I recall it happening, it was inappropriate and I apologize.” But instead she’s like, “Yeah I said it and here’s why: because jokes aren’t funny without it!” It’s insane.

Paula was apparently supposed to go on the Today show this morning to respond to the allegations, but Matt Lauer reported that she pulled out at the last minute, probably because whatever lawyer allowed her to go into that deposition un-prepped realized they should cut their losses and take her underground in hopes that this will all blow over.

…or not. Here’s the apology video that Paula just released. Please to enjoy the stammering, long pauses, glazed look in the eye, and tasteful jump edits. It makes no sense, and it reeks of insincerity. This thing just doesn’t end.

Hoo boy.

(Image: Mr. Blue / WENN.com)

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    • Katy Hearne

      Aw, shucks. The video has been taken down.
      Ugh. As a person from the south- I really wish people like Paula Deen would quit popping up all over the place.
      Also, since you’ve never spoken to me- I’d like to make it publicly known that I don’t talk like that (And I mean both in vocab choice & accent. y’all)

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    • Goodbye

      I don’t understand the commotion over this story. I know the ugly history behind this word, but Eminem utilizes the word a great deal and is as white as Paula Deen. Why is she censored while he is not?

      • cassie

        her sponsors don’t want her as their representative if she’s going to be offensive. eminem’s sponsors know what they’re getting, and they’re not paying for wholesome.

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    • Name

      I don’t think Paula should be in trouble for being honest about what she says. Black people call THEMSELVES niggers ALL DAY LONG and it’s ok but if a white person says it, all hell breaks loose. I love Paula and I hope another network hires her. I’m so tired of black people complaining about all of their injustice. What about the Native Americans? They had it WAY WORSE! The way I see it, if black people don’t want to be called niggers, then they should stop calling each other that themselves.

    • makare

      If she had said she had never used the word anyone with any sense would know she was lying. Her honesty kicked her in the butt and that is wrong. I do not like racially or ethnically derogatory words. However, I do know there is a difference between someone who uses them out of ignorance and someone who uses them out of malice. Dean is definitely the ignorant kind. I don’t think the fallout should be the same for both.

      • Jenni

        You think a woman who built a multi-million dollar media empire didn’t know which words were considered unacceptable? She’s not a 110-year-old Southern lady who just shot to fame from a recent Youtube video where she cooked fried butter. She’s worked at this career for many years and 100% knows better.

      • makare

        As i understand it, she was referring to years ago when she used the words, not today. The southern side of my family still refers to Brazil nuts as nigger toes. They don’t even realize what they are saying when they say it and they are perfectly intelligent people. There is a wide breadth to the concept of “knowing better”. So do I think she “knew better” at the time- no, I do not. You do not have to go back 110 years to find ignorance of this kind.

    • mike

      Jokes are jokes. There’s a time and a place for everything. God forbid she was just being honest. We all tell jokes or make witty remarks. I laugh at any race jokes, even ones that are against whites. Stereotypes exist between all races, cultures, religions and sexual preferences. It is ok to make light of them as long as you’re not being mean about it. I don’t particularly like the N word and I find it appalling that I can be referred to as a “honky” or “cracker” in a demeaning way – and it’s acceptable. That’s my only real gripe.

      People need to loosen up and quit trying to be so damn P.C. about everything. I support Paula Dean, just as much as I support MLK Jr.

      • MCR

        “I support Paula Dean, just as much as I support MLK Jr.” Interesting correlation. It makes me think how grateful we can all be that Deen didn’t bring up Martin Luther King.

    • MCR

      My take is that she’s already providing a reluctantly edited version. She might want to say (like some people here in the comments section) that there’s nothing wrong with the word, that black people use it all the time, that everybody’s being too sensitive. But she’s probably been warned that that approach won’t fly, that she should be aware of the public perception of white southerners throwing “n****r” around, and her attempt to compromise results in the confused mish-mash you quote in the deposition. I can’t say for sure, not having read the entire deposition, but that’s the impression I get.

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