Here are four people I like: Olivia Wilde, Jake Johnson, Ron Livingston and Anna Kendrick. Here’s the name of a movie they made together that looks uncomfortably predictable: Drinking Buddies. It appears to be your basic best-friends-fall-in-love-but twist-they’re-both-dating-other-people story. Think You’ve Got Mail with less literacy and more facial hair and you’ve pretty much already seen the trailer. ”Wah-wahh I’m one of four beautiful people who likes my significant other and also likes someone else’s significant other. Grab two of every animal and build yourself an arc folks because I’m about to cry myself a river.”
And look, I like a simple dramedy as much as next human tampon holder, but let’s hold Hollywood to a little bit of a higher standard here. They’re working with a group of great actors. I mean they’re so great that I’d willingly have a casual sexual encounter with one and I’d willingly let another go through my kitchen, take out all the cups and do a little musical improv. It’s not like someone tossed them Katherine Heigl, a paper bag and said “work magic!” If that’d been the case, I’d accept a movie this predictable, this utterly duhhhh.
But on behalf of actors who deserve better material, I demand less predictable movies. I mean, let’s just get it out of the way and talk about how this movie ends. Olivia Wilde and Jake Johnson end up together — and it’s totally okay because Anna Kendrick plays a total shrew who keeps asking her serious boyfriend to marry her. Also side note, it’s always okay to leave your significant other and emotionally cheat with someone else if that person’s heinous. No one will feel sorry for her. Even if she’s in the middle of planning a wedding and her husband leaves her for their wedding planner. It’s cool. True love doesn’t follow rules. In fact it breaks so many of them that it often ends up in detention.
Then again, maybe I’m wrong and they all die.